..........................................

i haven been blogging...
just received an email from Alice, kinda glad to be still in touch with her. Seeing how she's still regarding me as her closest friend, i kinda feel guilty for detesting her behind her back. its not that Im those kind of scheming backstabbers, its not that i behave differently infront of her and behind her, at least not i intended to. when she's nice, i totally love her alot, but when she gets cross and detestful, i cant help but to feel irritated n annoyed, i m torn in trying to decide exactly how to feel towards her, she put me in a dilemma that lasted almost 6 yrs till now....but deep down, i know im grateful to have her as a friend, we have an affinity, and it has not ended...

this one is sooo cute!!! cant stop laffing omg...



this one abit...like going to de zoo liddat...micky so funny!!!

reading bleach haha, the manga story is so much more interesting than the "BOUND"s, the new character's name all so greekish, ~~~OLA....all ends with LA.
dun feel like sleeping, haiz...., dam hungry, all tt CY's fault. Ask me translate some freaking chinese love story coz he freeking cant read chinese. the passage so freakng long!!! curses.... i m amazed at my translating skills tho, not bad huh me.
i did 2 geog essays today, kudos.... i m Da MAN, woosh, 17 left harhar.
i tried to copy down some korean song lyrics juz now, ended up onli managed to copy one, used up 5 pages in my notebook for ONE song! keep copying the wrong verse coz i duno wad im copying, all the words look the same to me....
feel like eating kfc now....aaa so hungry!!! someone feed me........
shiqi is such a #$!^$, i was hoping she could get through the audition today n she told me she backed out last min, i feel like wringing her head, uuurgh, made me feel so anxious for her.
i told my mom the condtion of my jap class, n she laughed she choked on her food. coz i tried to imitate that JOEY-san in my class reading the passage. OMG, i really cant stand the way she read kno, its annoying to keep waiting for her to read the nxt word. The smart guy, the teacher n me were like practically teaching her how to read alr, and she still read it wrongly. let mi show u:
Joey: Kare wa....shi...shiio...hi..hi..hi
Smart guy: shiohikari
me: shiohikari
SenseiL shiohikari shiohikari
Joey: hi...hi....
$%@#$%!

naruto

im reading naruto now, feeling a sense of loss, coz naruto is getting lamer and lamer, for both the anime n the comic, wth...it was so interesting in the beginning, and now it bcom like this.....when is the naruto i luved coming back??? same goes for bleach, idun understand these ppl, if they havn finish with the show then put it off for the moment la, y do they have to force themselves to come up with sucky fillers to make their fans disappointed? I've totally given up chasing those new animes, stick to 2 at a time, i still have my OnePiece there collecting dust...i downloaded too much for mi to swallow, really have to take care of my com prevent from formatting it, dun wanna lose all my treasure.
i did one geog essay n one a maths paper today, feel v accomplished, i shall treat myself with icecream and tea. tmr got jap lessons, i really dun feel like going, my tcher sux, i'd rather go kinokuniya there n pore over the books there then sitting in tt shabby classrm, arnd uncool ppl and listen to his crap...ok, sometimes he's nice n benign etc, but u see the huge generation gap and the huge boring face he has, it cancels everything off. n my classmate, omg, all of them are dorks and nerds, jus dun like the way they read jap, they sound like my neighbors playing mahjong, v loud n clear, yes, but really v unappealing, onli mine is good, soothing n nice.
last lesson tmr, guess i shud put it off for the moment, get the O done first then take care of jlpt...lvl2 is quite hard la, got alot of sentence structure to study, i nid a dict la, my mom reluctant to buy for meee, liddat how i study??? sianz....

at a lost at how to feel....

My Grandfather just called.
My Great Grandmother passed away yesterday, approximately 2 and a half years after my grandmother, her daughter, died.
My GreatGrandma, whom I am fortunate to have met, even for that short period which I could hardly recall, lived to 102 years old. She was a happy old lady with a very positive view for life, partly (I think) due to having slowly lost much of her memory (she claims she didn't know i existed..). Fortunately, she passed away peacefully during her sleep, serene.
I pray for her safe journey in the other world.
Now that I have only 2 Grandparents left, Grandpa from my mother's side, and Grandma from my father's side. I didn't have a complete set of grandparents to begin with, my dad lost his father during the tomultuous period, when he was only 16.
Life and Death...
I'm beginning to think about living and dieing...
sometimes, i couldnt feel alive, i feel as if i'm dead but still moving like i'm not.
i m confused...not really sure about how to think or feel about my GreatGrandma's death...the sadness came in slowly, to think that I announced it loud and clear to my mom...now, I can't seem to think anymore..........

my bro

haven't been blogging for pretty long time i think.
juz felt like writing smth after reading my brother's blog. dam philosophical he became. however his philosophies centre around love and the nature of sex and stuff liddat, juxtaposition of sex between animals and humans.........tt kind of freaked me out. Guess this is wad guys his age think about. They tend to give it the scientific tinge instead of just the emotions and feelings we girls have. werd.
anyway, i could still remember the day he introduced his girl to me, i was dam smart to see through his teeny lie that she was only a friend. I was a little shaken and melancholic after he confessed that the girl was his special person. Not that I'm in lurve with my brother or wad, but the possesive inclination just couldn admit that my brother had a girl other than me. well, i happily forgot about it aft that, and went around telling my relatives abt it other than his mom, coz however big my mouth is, i kept my promise to him, not to let his mom know abt it. Secretive... If i was his mom, i would have known tt my son had gotten himself a girl, its female intuition, or my aunt was pure dumb, oops.
in his blog entry, he wrote that he doesnt ask much out of this relationship, doesnt necessarily have to have alot to talk abt when they are together, he's juz happy that they are together even if they feel akward. That really sounded like a love story, kind of cliche, but i guess its bcoz everybody felt the same way. it spanned 6 yrs since his confess and their first date. I'd always knew my bro was resilient ^^. anyway i m really proud of him, at least he's one guy i know that is serious about his girl and their relationship, that's worth celebrating for.
congrats to his girl too, my bro is that one in a million guy and she found him.
haaa~~~ so sweet ><
wish that my bro can tell me his love story from the very beginning ><

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i honestly abhore my personality, sometimes i hate myself so much that i wish i wasnt myself....someone kill me....

i honestly do not know wad to blog about. i leave my computer on for nothing in particular, and do my work in front of it. amazingly, i do not get distracted. 3 consecutive days of rest was not relaxing at all, i m not allowed to relax at all. be it in school or not in school, i m as tensed up anywhere. every thought going on in my head is about study and school work. at home, i spend most of time doing homework, if not, worrying about it. yesterday, i suddenly came to realize that i had not sat infront of the tv to watch a tv show properly in days, or even months. (though i watched anime on com...)3 consecutive days of rushing my work, i'm still left with mounds of hw......they could bury me alive if i were to shake the foundation a little......maybe it would be better if they did........
dreading school..i wish i could be anywhere but school....school is even more horrifying that before. its horrifying the way it makes time go so fast, like its eating up ur time and that the time has passed without u noticing it...
i shud go to sleep...but its only 9.30, not used to going to bed this early....feels as if there's still incomplete work...

am sooo tired...more tired than yesterday after the run, weird isnt...
anyways, its been a long time since i'd finished reading a story book from head to toe. the book's called "Kite Runner", i cried once half way through the story.
It's a recount of a man's life from when he was 12 to somewhere arnd 40, the story abt how he had betrayed his best friend when he was young and found out that his best friend was his half illegitimate brother, but by the time he found out, he was nearing 40 and his brother was executed some time ago. he thus had a mission to seek out his nephew and bring him away from afghan and raise him as his own. along the way, he finally confronted his cowardice years back where he witnessed his brother raped but was too afraid to stand up for him. He fought the man who raped his brother, who also intended to rape his nephew. in the end, his nephew saved his by shooting a steel ball into the man's socket, just like how his father used to protect his brother in the past. then, it was a journey to bring his nephew into his family, along the journey he had carelessly and momentarily shattered the boy's new found hope by offering to temporarily place him in an orphanage while he settle the adoption matters. The boy attempted suicide that night, and he was terrified, he started to pray and do all sorts of religious thingies that he had not practiced in decades, suddenly realizing that there is a God, and God will forgive him and keep the boy alive.....
i cried once more at the end of the story, it was like a long journey finally coming to its end, and then u realize that u still want to continue walking...
...i dunno wad im talking abt, ...so wadever, i m going to sleep, nitez

yes i havn been blogging, i m sorry....
anyway just felt that i shoud blog for once in a long long time.
today was 2.4, blardy hell i failed again...nvm i shall excel in my retest....not that i din do my bes today, i really couldn run for some stupid reason, like my muscles are too tight...blah blah, they really were, i promise i will not walk for goodness sake during the rerun. anyway i always run better during reruns......
wth...time passed so fast that i din even realise its april already!!! eunice wrote down the countdown days to olvl and preprelim today and it was only 200+ days away!!!! aaaaa omgomg....and i m like still not done with my geog holiday homework which is due two days later and my blardy career essay due today but i m planning to do a draft for it tmr....slack right?
tmr is another long long day and i m now watching anime....slap myself....but i did my homework u see, so i deserve a bit of relaxation b4 i go to sleep....
sleep is like never enough these days, its like u lie on bed for awhile and u have to wake up alr....not even enough time to make out with whoever in ur dreams la....doopez....lucky i nv go to TJC, else my sleeping time would be cut until its so short that its uncuttable......
oh, no more wasting time, i shall go watch NANA ^^, yes NANA got anime ler! first episode yeeps1!!

just done watching HUNTER x HUNTER, not very happy with the ending, but rather happy that i finally finished the whole anime, from head to toe! 92 episodes leh, no mean feat ok, lol. what's really impossible is to try finishing ONE PIECE, coz its blardy damn long la, i m like at 169 only, and i have until 240 on my com, and it seems that its out till 260+ liao....dioonz...totally harshed my mellow....lol.
ONE PIECE is really fun to watch, am starting to go into this frenzy again alr...aaargh...
like i m juz done with one thing, and here comes another, tho i nv thot of watching anime tedious, but still i cant help but feel that there really is toooo much anime alr...its taking up too much of me, i cant concentrate on other things when theres anime around...
aaargh, i m going mental....

its raining outside, im looking at the cute little birds jumping arnd in the tree outside my window. just hope that they dont jump into my room, tt's all i ask for. remembering last time when we just moved in to my current residence, there was no curtain in the kitchen. and everytime we leave the window open for ventilation, the stoopid birds flew in and created a rackus out of my kitchen. why do i say they are stoopid??? coz they know how to come in, but they duno how to go out......silly billy....
anyway, i have to agree that rain makes ppl sad. "alot of ppl cry when it rains" quote Crystal from MIB2....ha... to think that i was so high just now singing in the shower.... (aw the birds look so cold...they keep fluttering their wings and trying to find shelter beneath the leaves.........)
i havn done a single piece of homework this whole aftnn....the time is sooo freaking wasted, but i just couldn bring myself to do my work...what is this??? uuurgh, curses...
oh man, today i unintentionally overheard someone's conversation over "what kind of gers guys like...." =.= dooopezzz... yes, this is the stage everyone goes through, the practise hunt for potential other halves...wadever it is...but, its really quite annoying to hear like almost everyone talking abt it..... what use is it to analyse what kind of gers guys like, so what if u found out?? it'll just put you down more as u realize u dun fit the descriptions at all.........=.=
oh well..............
shimin went home early today, she wasn feeling well, thought she acted strangely since morning. my darling : pls take care of urself...and get well soon...
the Mrs Secretary/Clerk (or duno what...) asked shimn whether she had flu-like symptoms or fever, just to play safe i guess...
anyway, today's council invest was boooring, i only liked Geraldine's dance, she rox!!! haha..ourclass sat at the last row, and slacked...it was the seat that *** sat last yr LoL, can i say i can still feel the warmth??? bwahahahaha...
saw Krystal on bus today, LoL it was sooo funny ^^. She msged me to say that we were on the same bus, and i realize that she was siting right infront of me...I LURVE KRYSTAL!!!! she'll always be the big SIS in my heart, i so envy that asshole alan to have such a nice sister, if only she was mine...boohooo...
right...shud i go do my work??
wait, wad are the stuff i need to do.......
oh yes... the freaking compo...i sincerely hate english lessons...for wadever reasons there be............

reading ppl's blogs can be really annoying, esp. ppl like PhOBeeBee....i didn noe she has a blog until one day i saw it. I went to read out of curiosity and found myself twitching at every word, it just gets on my nerve, really. i mean, some ppl are just so not realistic, why cant they be someone who's more acceptable and acknowledgeable?? why does she still have to obstinately go her own way when she knows that it's not reaping the fruit she wants. Super ACBC lor! I cant stand it! Never have i been annoyed this much, felt like punching her. Come one man, why do u have to be someone that ppl hates........
enuf.....i shall not let my mind linger over this subject anymore, disgusting out my brain cells...later i die of disgust how?

4/2'06 ROX!!!!

blog about today's March Games.
Our class emerged 3rd!!!! amazing rite, we actually beat so many classes! and last year we like kena kicked out in the 3rd game....
Wow, I lurve 4/2 man, my class rox seh! Didnt realize tt until today, =)
our team: Lester, Nat, Apr, Divek, Karnt(LoL), WeiHao, Adlin, PuuQin, Yuxian, Shimin (^^) and me, lol. Lester's so cool, and today's his bday ><, and Ian's too. Eck.
anyway, abt today.
met Shimin at the usual place at 0800. We were deciding wad time to meet ytd, she said 0755, and i was like "no not so early, so on time for wad, lets meet at 0805...lol" well so we met, i've given up hope to cajole, lure, seduce, plead, whatever her to play for the game. It's so wasted! She can play so well, and she dun want to play. She's soo obstinate and stubborn, haiya.... but bobian, she's shimin wad...
dono y our class's match was scheduled until so late, we waited and waited and waited somemore, still not our turn yet. Poor angeline, she came at 0745 and left at 0830, without watching our match, so poor thing...
so we went to watch bball matches with PuuQin and YuuXian, lol, first match was 5/1 against 4/8. it was fun to watch, we cheered at every goal, didn matter which side's goal also. Mr Lim played v well, and i rmb him saying he wasnt in his school team when he was in sec school. anyway, there was this LARD in the 5/1 team, ppl say that he's soooo PHAT he couldn even fit into the 2 poles of the basketball goalpost. damn, and u see the ripples when he run, yeeks, really look like running piece of Lard....
den later was bball match btw 4/3 and 4/6. and 4/3 won!!! woosh! LoL, i m loyal supporter. score was 12-10, i cudnt belive that they actually scored this many in such a short time. the match was good, coz the two teams got standard, lol. nice. realize most of the girls in the team no use one, haiz, there to fill up the names only, pathetic...
den hmm, wad did we do....
slacked arnd loh....... i tried to find balls so can play with shimin, ha, today she v ting hua, so obedient, ask her to play, she will play one, gd gd ger! Long long time nv play vball liao, reminisc...(wadever). (if not for tt f*king cheePANG, we wouldn land up liddat...) anyway, we were playing vball with Shimin, Apr, Nat Puu and surprisingly Mr Leow...din know he cud play...hehe. Den this terrible thing happened. I wanted to hit the ball, then walk walk, and trip over this little girl, and i fell flat on my face, not heavily la, but i hit my knee and it hurts. >< boohoo i must have fell damn ugly man, so no face liao lar....sit up and they all crowd arnd me and asked me whether im ok anot, ^^ feel so gd to hav ppl care abt u ><. Then i saw the Weihong and Jiahao there laughing at me!!! Woa, i can go flush myself down the toilet bowl liao, sooooo paiseh!!!!
Lol, stupid, then was the match against 5/1... oh b4 that, long long b4 that got play against 4/4, (seriously i dun like tt team ><). And we WON!!! WOOSH!!! I was so happy that i kissed Puuqin, lol, then she went eeeeeeeeeeing all over. Coz monday we lost to 4/4 4-3, sai, all my fault, keep falling off the chair... and tt fooking JAMES, that duno who's bf, keep knocking me off. And i think that he thinks his legs are beautiful (puke puke and puke somemore), coz he keep doing these, these stretches and duno what poses he did to show off his legs, diaoz....guys can be obsessed with body parts other than their chic?? lol, sick...
den aft tt match wit 5/1, we lost, but we played well, our team got fighting spirit! and Lester v GOOD ^^, the 5/1 team all so impressed haha. according to shimin, that shawn grabbed my hand when i was unstable on the chair.....i din know...now my hand feels weird...(faints) woa n he hit my waist during the game, duno whether he got grudges towards me or wad, hit until so hard, damn painful....haiz...den later they ask me to go down and change lester be captain...no choice, i go there be extra. ...i couldn do anything lor, kns, i was so angry wif myself coz i really made them lose the ball, later couldn get over it and i...last game against 4/3, i become spectator, sub PuuQin in... shout until voice hoarse liao...but realize tt 4/2 is really a nice class (except for some ppl....Lol)

okay, i knoe that time goes by fast, and it really does go by fast, im still traumatized that it has gone by so fast.
for crying out loud, its half way thru march alr.........
anyways, my results for this term was lousy, got a pretty 50 for my english, and bloody 60 for CHInese.
Hello? Me? Getting a fooking b4 for chinese?! I could go knock myself on the wall already.
Am i really more deprived or wad? y do ppl get 90+ while i could hover around 50-60?? Am i really that stupid??
oh shux......nvm........like everybd else's doing, i shall work xtra hard for the second term.

I do not think that my intepretations to life and understanding to certain issues are shallow and superphicial (however u spell it...), i do catch the gist of things and can add in my own opinions. y is that my mom keep saying that my comprehension skills are lousy? more often than not, i deem myself to be able to understand things that many can't. Izzat lousy??
in my opinion, my mom is the one who has weird understanding of things, sometimes i really couldn't care less about what she thinks, cuz it would always oppose to mine. Always......
even without realising that she's doing it, she says "no" by instinct.
why am i downgrading my own mother here......
nope, this is not downgrading, i luv her as much as i luv life (well...) its just that sometimes ppl need to complain.
i can't complain to her not because i think it's rude or disrespectful, but because that whatever i say will be immediately butted back at me.
i m 17! i know to a certain extent what is right and what is wrong, why is that every sensible thought I have, had to be shot back at me being unrealistic and impractical?? Come on!
Maybe sometimes what i say could be pretty improbable, like building castles in the air, unrealistic ramblings abt what i wanna do in the future. Hey, isn't there at least a little room for imagination and creativity??
I've just read an analysis on THE ENGLISH TEACHER. The themes about predictability vs unpredictability never hit me as much it did. It applies so well to my own life, that i kind of feel a connection with Narayan, that our lives have a similiar scent.
That our lives are stifling and mundane due to all the timetables and schedules and deadlines...where did the spontaneity and "live" life go??

I m posting the pictures i took at the Zoo yesterday, LoL, my first time at the Singaproe Zoo.
COOOl..........

siao ah pek

what a freaking day it was....
let me briefly recount the terrible event that took place 3 hrs ago.
...
it was a beautiful aftnn, with the terribly beautiful sun showering us with his beautiful rays of light.........
along the busy street of AMK, beside the teeny little bank,
this PESTY INSANE AH PEK came to us...
"$^%@$#^%$&...BO...^*^&*$"
i m thinking that he's probably asking for $$.
we picked up our speed and he sped up his.
we raced across Guardian, and we ran into the MINOSHE Brassiere shop.
AHA, come n get us old man, LoL.
He walked straight and down the road, disappearing around the corner of the bakery shop.
"Did he go away??"
"Let's cross over to the other side ^^."
We ran.
We saw.
He saw.
I peeked around the corner to see if he's still following, that's when my gaze met his, sending shivers down my spine. He's crazy.
We went crazy and took off running.
Thinking of heading back to PoPuLar, but no, we will still go to Mac.
So we took a UlU route along the carpark, and ran with all our might, charging into Mac.
Panting and sweating, we sat down at the small corner at the rear end of the mac.
we changed places 3 times, and ended up in the corner near the counter.
we thot we lost him.
we were wrong...
just as we savoured the last spoon of Msflurry icecream, i saw him sneeking around outside.
"Oh Shiit! He's here!"
Ducking my head under the table, futile attempts to hide myself. We put our heads on the table, and peeked from below our arms.
He peered around, sniffing our traces.....
he sneeked in, heading towards our first seat.

That's it! We are leaving this place!
I stepped out and almost got tripped over by a freaking umbrella poking out from the neighboring table.
"Damn it"
Meanwhile, Shimin was working on the entangled strap of my bag and the stool with futile efforts.

We shot out of the door and ran for our lives as fast as our trembling legs could carry us. We managed to escape. Once again. Cool.