eee sian, i think my dance so seh, nua like a piece of shit. jialard. how to perform lidat, nobody want to look at me!
Hardcore, JIAN FEI plus abs training, plus dance pracs. I don't care, I must at least be good at smth i want to be good in.

Whatever

I shall not take any negative feelings. Let them bounce away. Negativity is a waste of energy. If it's tiring, and u wonder why u take it up in the first place, don't, scrap that thought, it's a waste of mind energy. I don't understand how people can keep up a pretense that is so real. What's wrong with showing grumpiness when u are really grumpy? Why laugh so heartily when u are actually brooding negativity? So contradicting! And I'm glad u didn't flare up even though u felt like it, coz it would have hurt, but on the other hand, it might have been better if u did, coz I can then confront u in the face, thn I wouldn't have to dissipate this hating u because u hate me thing. Anyways, dwelling in such a mind is of no use. I am going to conquer what's infront of me, coz that's the only task I need to take care of, I don't have to bother about hunger, cold, having no roof over my head, all I need to think of is how to do my assignment well, isn't that a blessing already? And the trust that my dad has in me, I must take it seriously, even if that means i have to drag myself up everyday, exhausted or not, because my dad's trust is worth it. Now I feel a little better, and if u my fren happen to read this, stop being such a phony, and show me ur true feelings if u deem me as a real friend.

noooo

i am mother tired after screwing up my practical exam as usual, mugging the whole night away in the library. I am further pissed off from reading the article about the feminine mystique. I have a million things to study. and opening facebook to see the strawberry game photo just turn off, hate facebook, hate strawberry game.

Hey~~~ It's my birthday!

I am **!!! zomg freaking old!
I sincerely thank all my lovely friends who wished me well one way or another. Im not a birthday person, don't so much celebrate it really, but I enjoyed the birthday song and presents and the time u guys spent to do it. I gan dong many many :)

Since I am so freaking old alr, I nid to have goals in my prime years which are short and gonna end soon. soon my prime will be over haiz.

THis upcoming year, I want to be damn good in what Im passionate about, my course, my dance, myself, and family and friends. And maybe probably if luck favours me, get a cute boyfriend, but that can't be compelled, so it's just fate. And i want tone and long legs to complement my toned and beautiful body which I happen to want to achieve too.

So yup, more discipline pls u old woman, and pls pls pls manage ur tell better. and pls pls pls learn some ways of the world so that u don't come across as a small kid.

Why is it so weird to listen to sex talk while

with parents around. As much as I try to pull a straight face, it is just weird.

It is universally weird! But why??

Is it because Parent’s carnal pleasure = me?

Is it weird for them when I’m around when they listen to sex talks…..

No I’m not obsessed about sex.

Oh, and back to my stupid 2000 word essay.

wtf

this is what i call spoil market : http://blog.nus.edu.sg/iamhexuan/
she freaking can do all adobe stuff, plus maya plus this and that, no need to take nm2208 alr wad. zzzz. she machiam come in and teach pls. And woalah, she has been freelancing since secondary school, make me question what have i been doing? ccb.
OK! I am gonna work mf hard....

zooms

And here I am, all alone in the lobby.

Been one year and a little bit more since I joined KR, (no this is not a overflowing sentimental post), just feel that despite the time and frustrations sometimes, and the wee expensive fees, there are really more priceless things that couldn’t be bought. I don’t regret the decision, but I think it’s time for a change..

Photos!

Before I sloth my night away in java and linked lists, I shall post my beautiful photos. :D

Just received it in the post, my grandpa spent a few hundred RMB just to send it over…zzz…there should be discounts for senior citizens!

    

Yup. Although the poses and the dresses and the settings are, KITSCHY, yes this is a new word I’ve learnt from school, but I am just chio. I mean, Look at THAT! ignore the big-small eyes, they are due to bad eye make up and the fake eyelash dropping down.

Anyhow I think every girl should have an album like this. It makes you feel good about yourself. Or if you don’t need it to help you feel good, you can always show it off to those who don’t have.

Dreams Dreams Dreams Dreams

If I could, I would totally just live in my dreams, it’s much more exciting than real life as I am living right now. Last night’s dream is still revolving in my mind, and I would give anything to make it come true.

The story goes largely like this:

My sudden desire to go to Japan, I felt as if I had to go, for some reason I cannot explain. So I managed to convince someone, and my parents, somehow, and yes I was heading to the airport in a huge taxi containing people in different sizes, literally. And so I arrived in Japan, and I roam around speaking my broken Japanese, until I met this guy whose name I remember vaguely was Hanto. So he happened to be able to read my sign languages and he brought me around, until at night I had to find a hotel to settle down, he offered his home. I gladly accepted seeing no visible danger I followed him to his house and this is where the story start to get exciting.

Hanto belong to a family of many many family members, each has their own special abilities, but all damn goodlooking, wakakka, its MY dream. The feel is like watching some anime, somewhat like Fushigi Yuugi, like you are surrounded by talented good-looking people who all happen to be interested in the boring you. That sounds very Otaku-ish. but nvm it doesn’t happen in reality, but it can happen elsewhere. So begins my interesting trip in Japan’s mysterious world!

I went to their amusement park, which is hideously designed and horrifyingly fun. The most memorable one is one where a handful of people lie about in the centre of this muddy disk, and then the disk will start turning, and there will be short walls that overlap each other with a small gap in between. As the disk turns faster and faster, we will start spinning around together with the mud, and naturally will collapse into the short walls, the main point is to slide yourself through the gaps in between and find the slide that leads back to the ground, not all gaps lead you to a slide, that’s the catch. Basically alot of spinning.

Those were the ones that I am sure had been in my dream, but I have that feeling that my dream is definitely more than that, just that I can’t remember, it is a magical dream, and I remember the first thought I had after opening my eyes is to make this dream into a game. It’s a thought hard to convey. But I am glad I had this dream. If only I am so daring in person as I was in my dream.

Nightmare after meal

just woke up after a nap after i ate my gruesome magee (actually not that gross, jus that the dream was quite weird and horrific).

I had a little bad dream, it was just weird beyond description.

I dreamt that someone stole in my room and melted my laptop down to a morbid looking pulp, still retaining its case color.

Distance

Idk, i think its scary to know someone too well.

My time is MY time

no, I refuse to go simi gala dinner, waste my time and money. SOrry ppls. I don’t think you will miss my presence for that one night, and I can channel that 55 dollars to better use. toodoos suckers, have fun.

Was just looking at some fb photos, suddenly it dawned on me tt the reason why I appear ginormous on pictures is partly because the skinny little girls like to hide behind me!! What a bunch of complicated organisms, u are alr so skinny why hide half ur ass behind mine? Taking photos shouldn't it be honest memorial for tt moment, the intentional angle-ing and positioning so tt u could look even skinnier n by contrast I look even bigger, what's the point of taking pictures anymore??? Irritated. Nvm I embrace my Lublub wholesomely because they are just plain beautiful!

random one

Just for laughs!

Sleepless nite

I guess it’s the milo I drank just now that’s keeping me awake. Darn, I have a early lecture and a long day ahead. Not doing much, was reading some girl’s blog just so I can fall asleep, but it turned out interesting. Sometimes I wonder, how do you classify someone as ‘normal’? Is it maybe he/she does the same ‘in’ things everyone else does, like going to clubs and going on holidays with their friends, that makes you the ‘normal’ crowd? I do neither, that makes me ‘abnormal’ i guess. And I’ll just leave it like that.

Krohanga!!!!

Nth much to say except, I AM FUCKING PROUD to have been part of KR Rag Dance 10/11.

NO way man

If it was one year back, i might probably just accept it. But no, I refuse to accept ppl’s arrangement for me without pushing it. Sorry but just no way am I gonna stand one side like a retard.

The A-Team

HOHOHO, I FUCKIN LOVE MOVIES LIDAT!!! WOOT!! GOD I WISH TO BE ONE OF THEM. SHIT AWESOME!!!

Photos again. :P

 

 

Went to this tourist attraction place called 国色天香, there were rides and everyth but I didn’t ride on any, technically because I have old people in tow, but honestly because I actually is quite scared. Ha. Anyhow, love the sheer bigness, that’s something you don’t see in sg, no offence, but sg is tiny. Pardon the countryside look, I don’t bother to dress up, coz once again I am with old people in tow, I look perfect to them even if my face is meshed up, plus I don’t really need to dress up, I am just beautiful as I am. No joke.

Anyhow, gonna move in to hall tmr, superbly reluctant, oh well what can I do, last year in hall. Shall get a private jet next academic year.

Just heard today that someone from Sheares hall committed suicide just recently. As someone who don’t know shit about the person, I wouldn’t say things like “oh so sad”, “oh he took the easy way out”. Everyone has suicidal thoughts, I even came up with “interesting ways to die” at work two years ago. Life is difficult, and it’s getting difficulterer. I’ve lived till now because I havnt met or encountered anything that would kill me, I plan to stay away from those things, but nothing is certain.

I am thankful for the peaceful and comfortable life I have led by far.

Photos

 

My Mom brought me to take 艺术照, i have no idea what it’s called in English, photos turned out better than I thought, just that I havn gotten them yet, waiting for my grandpa to mail it over.

It’s my first time at a photo shoot, it is unnerving and the camera man didn’t help much by being bossy and impatient, the poses he made me do are beyond my comprehension, however they actually look nice in print, so I forget all the curse words I have to say about him. The purpose of this is to leave a photo memory of I look like now, and I should say I’m quite glad to have agreed to it, even though I don’t like to have makeup on my face and wigs on my head.

Amused because my Dad still thinks that the person on the photo is not me, he will quite often point at the photo and say “Who is that??”, and I would say “ME.”, and he replies “Impossible, it must be someone else.” Oh well, accept it, it is me, even though it doesn’t look like me, or the other way round.

I must say this…this..place..is doing quite well. For the few times I went down, there were quite a number of people being buzzed around to do make up, hairstyle, and pushed into rooms to take photo. I even saw this pregnant lady walking around in a costume that fully uncovers her protruding belly. I guess every girl would love something like this, keeping visual memories of youth and time.

Below are some photos I took while waiting for my turn, and 4 soft copies of how the actual photo looks like.

 

…wahahaha.