i am fucking tired and its been a million years since i last touched my com, and I bloody took 1 hour to fix the connection, so I am rightfully very pissed...!!!
on my way home,i had mentally wrote smth to blog here, which i am very pissed rite now, so the mental post will be smeared with my pissed-ness for no reason just because i am pissed. bite me
anw...its smth to do with religion. ok thr's this part-time girl whom i made frenz with at the singtel shop, she sells broadband and mio btw, we were on the same bus home today, and we chanced to talk abt religion. so...having no good impression abt christianity due to my first and last visit to a church 2 years back...i listened to her in skeptism. hoping that she will not try to convert me, i tried to understand the underlying belief they have for their God...which i failed and so still cannot understand. in the end, she still tried to convert me tho subtlely, by telling me that if i don't believe in their God, i will go to hell. i took it matter of factly, that after i die, i am heading straight to hell, and was actually fine with it. but her persistent 'threats' just went on my nerves which include telling me i will be burnt in hell...blah blah blah..i went on to say...'fine, burn me, thn u all can eat barbequed-me'
ok, with no disrepect whatsoever for the said religion, i can say that i don't mind going to hell after i die. i assume i will be void of feelings and senses after i die, so go on and burn me, still i wont feel a thing rite, so why should i be scared to be burnt. quoting my fren that Christians believe that they have sinned in their lives, and therefore they go to heaven, and non-believers like me will just rocket straight to hell. so, logically, i don't really mind going to hell. here's why:
by assuming, every believer loves to convert whoever non-believer they meet, the no. of believers, hence future-heaven-dwellers will increase exponentially. assuming again that heaven is sacred, precious, hence in high demand-for but in pitifully low supply, meaning the step to entering is raised very very high, or in other words, no. of seats in the heaven constituency is highly limited. in economics term, there is a deficit or short supply of space. in other words, heaven, or the road to heaven, will be horribly crowded. for sheer space, i rather go to hell.
in reality, when many walk on a narrow path, there's bound to be pushing and shuffling. raising the severity of it, there will be scheming, sabotaging, backstabbing...bla bla bla... haven't we have enough of that when alive?? for the fear of going through all that agn in the afterlife, i rather go to hell.
ok. so what happens when you do get into the prestigious heaven?
do you become an angel? or start another "life", going through school, work, and marriage agn??
assuming everyone enters, and become angels, in RPG lingo, a newb...if not kill monsters, thn you must at least do smth to level up, and choose your job at certain levels. don't tell me you idle around floating on clouds and do nothing. if that's really the case, i rather die totally and not have enough souls left for idling in eternity. anw, so starting life agn in heaven must be somehow more appealing than life on earth, otherwise there's no draw to it any greater than going to hell. but being a soul, in spirit form, i cant quite imagine there being any joy to be senseless and formless, other than u get blown here and there by the wind, all physical attacks will pass right through u and vice versa....not very enjoyable in my view. maybe it's the urban myths and legends that fabricated all these in my minds, i am totally clueless to whatever happens in heaven...i m totally suspicious that what the believers believe in heaven is really true........turn out, im just skeptical about everything, coz i am fucking pissed.
should i go disclaim the fact that everything i wrote was not meant as any attack, ridicule or defaming for any said religion? fact is, no sane believers read my blog, so i wont bother to anyway.
bloody....my legs are freaking killing me. and i dono, what exactly am i irritated at. baaahzzzz........i wanna punch something real badly...