complaints n more complaints

The week is coming to an end and Im dying to go home, sobz which I cant due to stupid hall activities.

My Friday time table is a BITCH!More so because first lesson 9 bloody in the morning is CS1231, nothing more mind-grueling than arguing about logic first thing in the morning when ur mind thinks of nothing but ur bed.

Yesterday was end of IHG for me, totally warm the floor with my butt can, darn boring. bloody bitch. If I am to be captain next year, I will be an aweinspiring one. I will not laff like an idiot before the match and nua during the match like a stupid potato.

Anyhow, I wanna go HOME ><

FML

I just squeezed all the pimples and bums I have on my face, FML, like will never end.

Highlight of the day, I found a new eyecandy. Hehe Terrence who plays badminton. He just exudes grace from all his pores like nobody's business. ah ah ah.

Meditation

Totally irrelevant and irritating: I keep getting msn invites from random emails who want to show me their naked bodies on webcam. wtf...I'm not a man..and if i want to see a woman I can just see myself.

Back to meditation.
Never had I thought that I would actively seek out something as static and consuming and seemingly boring activity as meditating. It is barely half an hour since the session ended, and I already have no memory on what I had actually done. But I can feel that it has its benefits, and these benefits can only begin to be reaped after a number of meditating sessions. Even so, I now feel more refreshed and peaceful. I have less negative dreadful feelings at this current moment, and I guess it is somewhat comforting to know.

Toodoos. Fats and oil beckoning me.

lol

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

lol damn funny

As a record...

I signed up for two courses/workshop that just one year ago I would totally scorn at. "Personal Growth" and "Meditation".
Suddenly, the inner and spiritual me wants to take over.
Sometimes, I feel the worldly evils are so oppressive that it seems like a good idea to just end everything.
I believe suicidal thoughts exist in everybody's head now and forever. It depends on whether it is enough to push you over the border between dying and living. Both require equal amount of courage, imo.
So far, I still want to stay alive. weak smily :>

I used to complain that I think too little, too shallow, too obvious. Yet now I feel it's happier that way. The more things you discover, and the deeper you delve, the darker it seems.

I hope meditation is a way out to this mental turmoil and put some weight into my feet so that I can feel truly alive...

year of the firsts

yes it's the year of firsts and the first memorable thing i did is Bikini wax.

really it's not as awful as it seemed on TV. I opted for a FULL OFF coz it was recommended to do so such that it will less painful when I want to get a heart-shaped crop. yes and I want to dye it pink.

after the wax, it just doesn't look like mine anymore. a baldy stranger. i really will not tolerate regrowth.

yup, its quite an experience similar to getting my first facial and the first time I used a tampon, and the first time I got a slimming treatment.

I am bloody sleepy now due to chingay drilling and volleyball(which is slowly turning into a bitch). Chingay was superbly irritating because I had to endure it with an empty stomach, and it made me angry, compound with Bryan's snide remarks, it just might trigger off the insanity in me. On the other hand volleyball, I suddenly became second-class citizen without any warning whatsoever. I think Jacinth does not make a good captain. Trainings has no structure and no planning, and it makes ppl feel that they are left out, which is in eternity never a good feeling. And I super dislike the uncertainty to whether or not I will play, keeping me hanging...I have to go for training all the time wondering what for?

Im gonna sleep nao...

I should amend my new year resolution

Not to say dun pon anything at all, ec1301 lectures are just 100% pon-worthy. yay to free A. of course as an aspiring young economist, thr's no such thing as FREE. I will do my share of work just without gg to lecture.
on the other hand, CL2281 is really rather interesting. Although i wont come out of it as a full-fledged translator, the clause-analysing skills I would have acquired will be a great asset in the future, be it better formed sentences, clearer thinking paths or faster text-swallowing.
gogogo. A's here I come!

CS1101 rox my life

LOL at the irony man. anyhow the new lecturer makes it really fun to do programming!
We did the Turtle class today, and I made my turtles draw a heart shape. omfgly cute. im trying to figure how to video it and make it into gif or smth. need to share the b-u-teeeee

Ultimate humiliation!!

I am muthafucking irritated! I hate to be second class citizen, I hate to see other ppl move on faster than me. I hate to do the same things all over again!!!!
Knnnnnn
I have to redeem myself by the end of this sem. I hate it when ppl talk to me as if I'm so pitiful. Fuck fuck fuck

Evolved

It's probably normal to feel horrible to look at horribly ugly past photos of thyself. It's probably also normal to deject a period of thy life because it's just unpresentable. I so happened to see myself in past yearbooks, which led me to look through my fb photos and fwalah, I am overwhelmed with horror. I didn't realize how awful I looked because I used to not give a damn. Now that I'm starting to see something out of it, I am so washed up with shame that I don't know whether to move on.
I have a heart of gold, but who's gonna find it under that disheveled surface.