this is frustrating

It is the recurring time of my life that I am feeling again NOT GOOD ENOUGH, for work, for dance, and for attaining inner satisfaction. I guess this is good because I want to be better now. and I did not realize that Alex has given me a platform to BE BETTER, until he scolded us, i think me especially, today. man, it still feels horrible, because I had taken for granted that he chose us, and that would mean we are good enough for his choreo, but no. he chose us because he thinks we can do it, but we must show him that we want it, I want it! I want to become a better dancer! Really. Dancing makes me feel more than I am, it takes me into realms of emotions that I in reality will not experience. I do want to do it, I really do. Despite all the setbacks, I cannot do a freaking damn turn without losing focus and falling apart. I cannot let go enough because I just can't. I quote myself "When in doubt, just whack" I must not lose faith in myself, and I must firmly believe that if I do it enough times, I will get it! When I first started dancing, I had no idea that I was entering a journey of hardship, endurance and discipline. Now I know, I am scared, but I am anything but a quitter. Come what may, I will emerge only stronger.