Whatever

I shall not take any negative feelings. Let them bounce away. Negativity is a waste of energy. If it's tiring, and u wonder why u take it up in the first place, don't, scrap that thought, it's a waste of mind energy. I don't understand how people can keep up a pretense that is so real. What's wrong with showing grumpiness when u are really grumpy? Why laugh so heartily when u are actually brooding negativity? So contradicting! And I'm glad u didn't flare up even though u felt like it, coz it would have hurt, but on the other hand, it might have been better if u did, coz I can then confront u in the face, thn I wouldn't have to dissipate this hating u because u hate me thing. Anyways, dwelling in such a mind is of no use. I am going to conquer what's infront of me, coz that's the only task I need to take care of, I don't have to bother about hunger, cold, having no roof over my head, all I need to think of is how to do my assignment well, isn't that a blessing already? And the trust that my dad has in me, I must take it seriously, even if that means i have to drag myself up everyday, exhausted or not, because my dad's trust is worth it. Now I feel a little better, and if u my fren happen to read this, stop being such a phony, and show me ur true feelings if u deem me as a real friend.