I should be proud of who I am

At this point in time, my body and my brain and my psyche is screaming GIVE UP in a chorus.

I got kp-ed from almost all the items I am in, guilty as charged.

I won't say that I am flippant and commitment phobic, I guess I get kp-ed because people have expectations of me that I am not meeting, and well nobody has that time to find out why, they probably just assumed that I was not putting in enough effort. which technically is very true. I did not put in enough effort to individual items, and events and modules and projects in general. I really need to step up my game this sem, this shit is serious. I pretty much got myself so tied up in everything, I have no time to breath, no time to feel emo, no time to even think much about that one someone that I want to care for.

I guess its time to rise up to this ultimate challenge of university life, and I must have faith that I will emerge victorious because I believe I have the potential, I need to excavate it and this pressurizing atmostphere will not kill me, and I will find that one thing to hold on and push myself through.

I just need to push myself even harder!

I can do this.

I really really can.

and good thing, I am learning to accept criticisms frankfully and openly.

I am not perfect, far from it, I am lazy and deserve to be reprimanded. I shud be thankful that people take effort to point it out and change my ways. I am adaptative and built for success. I should be less self-centered really. I need to show people the respect that I should have for them. the fact that they can do things that I can't, is a valid premise for respect.

That said, Im gonna get a good sleep, control my easily wild rampant thoughts and get my game on for the next two wild days and 2 busy busy weeks to come. really not chance for a breather at all.

This busy life, challenge accepted!