My inner peace is disturbed now. I can sum it all up saying my life is getting out of control now.
All these commitments, they are losing their meaning on me.
All these "friends", they are also losing their meaning on me.
Am I the person that I want to become 5 years ago?
Problem is I can't remember what I had wanted to become.
I worry that I will not be able to love anyone because I am too in love with myself, and I am really not letting anyone in. I am so scared of professing my feelings that I lie to myself, and I feel so much angst building up and I don't know how to dissipate it.
I am always worrying about how others perceive me and I have had enough of myself.
I hate the container that I put myself in and I want to reach out to the person I have came to love.
Why do I have so many meaningless thoughts going on. I don't want it.
Maybe it's just today. I am at a junction of my life.
I don't want to be haps - then don't feel envious about it.
I don't want to have too many friends - then don't feel left out when people don't approach you.
I don't want too much attention - then don't feel all that angst when you don't get the attention.
Don't want any relationships? or do you want it because of someone? have you ever let the someone know that you have feelings for him?
I am so scared that I can't do anything about it. :(
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