Differences

Well this world is pretty much a lot about appearances I gather now.

If you care, you better show it. If you don't, you still gotta show it. One can't be selfish, that is if we ever want to be part of the community. I think we work so hard at everything is ultimately working towards a position where we can be outright selfish and without a need to justify it.

I am selfish!

But I can't show it. I have to act like I care when I don't. While I think that I am observant I am forgetting that people are observing me too. Oh well, too late to correct anything, but good that I actually found out about it.

I may be have a resting bitch face syndrome, when I don't smile or do anything people get scared? But well I really am not doing anything nor thinking anything, I like to keep my head empty for moments in time. That equates to disregarding others.

Well, this is a long topic of discussion and I will at some point stand up and justify myself which has no point actually. It is nice to know that people do bother to give honest feedback to my being and its maybe my good karma and that I have been nice to people at some points in time. There isn't a definitive answer to arrive to, all I know is for sure is that one can't please everybody, and when one tries to please everybody, one displeases oneself. I uphold my self, and as much as I hate to say it, I have to lower my self a little in relation to others because if I don't it's gonna hurt me in the future.

One needs to learn to act a little, do a little show, one can't bare one's immediate honesty all the time. Because nobody does that, and nobody recognises it as honesty but anomaly because you don't fit in with the crowd.

And there is really no point in getting all emotionally attached and reactive or defensive over people's perception about you, or explaining your actions and all. Because sure they will "understand" but will you know for sure? Is it gonna change anything? We don't know that. But I do know that it will screw me up somewhat and make me really confused over stuff so OK been there done that. Nuff said.

Time to get myself a new arsenal of tricks for me to face the challenges of the world. Lessons learnt, lessons not gonna be forgotten.

And prioritising needs to be learnt man. Dang it.