Post Dp

I find myself blogging a little too much recently, sheepish laugh.

Well, DP is over. I feel mildly lost, not with all the pracs taking up my time, a load finally lifted off my shoulder, I kinda don't know what to do with the time anymore. Well, complete my work of course, which I am rather excited to delve into actually.

What I love about DP is that over these crazy 3 days of incessant activities and sensory overload, the laughter and tears that we share, the pains and triumphs that we endure, the booze we drink before show. It is all too precious a memory and it is sad this it has come to an end so fast.

I love how this DP has turned out. I did not begin by believing in it as much, I thought the story was loose, too emo for me and a little too much contemporariness IMO. However after watching the runs over and over again, the central idea bores through, and it is heartwarming to know that it is these same emotions that everybody goes through at this stage of their lives. US, the young ones, dealing with expectations, individualities, securities, love, kinship, stress and friendships.

I wept when I first read the parent's letter. I can totally identify with the words although I later found out that Step wrote it and she wasn't even the least affected about it. Oh well, "when I needed you and you needed me", I thought of my parents, everything they have done for me, bringing me to this world, the hard work they put in for me for me to turn into who I am today. I am a happy person because of my parents and not because of me. My parents are simple hardworking people, and that is who I am going to become. They taught me the important values that guides me in life, in times of doubt, in the ways of society. Despite moments of selfishness where I disregard all these that I have I decide to focus on things that I do not have, I have made remarks and felt emotions that I have grown to be ashamed of. I am ashamed of not contacting my parents frequently, not wanting to connect with them, not wanting them to participate in my own life. I am so selfish.

Having learnt my lesson, I want to try to rectify myself, I want to be a better daughter, a better friend, a better dancer and a better person.

DP is not just about the few minutes of stage time, it is the hard work we put in over the months of practice, the injuries, the agonies of pursuing something we love, the time we spent together. "Somewhere only we know..."

Despite words of angst and feelings of depressions, I love the fact I stuck through with DP and did not pull out. And I love the fact that Jessica stuck through with Dp and Joan stuck through with it too. I am genuinely proud of them. And I am proud of KRDP2013.

What I miss now is the hugs and fist bumps backstage, the faces we see when we exit stage after each performance, the pats on the back and the smiles and "Good jobs!", "You guys were great!". I miss helping my friends with hair and makeup, sticking on their falsies which dropped off and I had to stick it on again; braiding my friends' hair and feeling super perfectionistic and redoing it again and again; piggybacking the Jess and laughing at her disabilities (is actually my way of trying to make her feel better, abit Bian tai, but the origins are good), rubbing Yuwei's stomach before show; spotting familiar faces in the audiences. I don't usually gush over these things anymore because having performed a number of times, the excitement wore off a little.

And what Dismas said about this being our last performance is not hitting me yet, probably because I was not as involved in DP as he was coz he was lead + director, i  think practically his whole life was DP until it was over. But for me, DP is a place to dance, to learn choreography, to interact and learn about my dancemates, although we dance so differently initially, we came to dance like each other towards the end.

So many things to say about DP and so little time to brood over it because I have 2 animations to finish by the end of the day. I just want to remember the good times, the crazy times, the bad times, everything. Do a proper closure for DP and a little tribute to it. For everybody who shared the same experiences despite being so different, I'm glad we came together and we did something all together. It is a helluva good memory to have. :')