泪

wadever......slack......
today cannot be considered as any nice day in my life. my life was always ruined starting from the moment i decided to join volleyball as my CCA. Ruined ruined ruined....... i like playing volleyball, but the problem is i never get a proper chance to do so. reasons, there are, but i don't think they are my causings, i never did anithing to deserve that. wad else can i say, this is fate, Unmei, 命运。。。however hard i try to defy, it still overpowers.... yar, sure, i m not the only person getting this, guess many others do too, and so there actually is someone who shares the same pain, not that pathetic anymore....... i ve tried to be optimistic about this thing, but, sometimes, your will overpowers e thought, painful...... i asked Mr Lim why did he pick me among e others for the OBS camp thingy, the one that Jelyn's swimming coach said that we have to bring that whatever-they-call-it to manually dig out the hole to BURY your shit, yar, and he said that, he wanted to find someone different, not as to send all the same people every year. how different am i?
i don want to be different, more appropriately is that i want to be unique, not different, ain't i different enough already?!
i hate this, alot, two more years to go, and i m fucking out of this school...... i really am regreting my choice of coming to anderson, makes my four years of secondary life so miserable, and pathetic, was it my fault?