i feel bad. for doing things that piss ppl off and pissed myself as well.
Im sorry for slandering darren in m msn nick and blocking him, i wasnt in my right mind, but since he said the "f" word, i shall not feel obliged to apologize.
i feel bad, coz i couldnt control myself and got caught playing solitaire by my dad, even tho he repeatedly drummed in me that the next time i was caught playing would mean that he's given up on me. pretty extreme, but i trampled on his words, and here i am, feeling stupid and regretful. wad should i say to him?
i admit i'm in the wrong, but its hard to put into words.
I m not normal today.
I need to get out.
think i shud go to sleep early and wake up early tmr, to drive myself through another day of studying and another day of continuous self-motivation...i wonder how long it will keep me going. i seem to have exhausted every drop of energy i hold. right now, i'm dried up.
I don't wish to go any further.
let me stay here, let me rest.
let me recollect myself. please dont give up on me. it makes me sad.
despite telling myself that my dad's never serious abt matters like this, it still scares the shit out of me....
i miss my mom...

i shall go to sleep. only sleep can comfort me, it gives me a few hrs of peace before having to face the tiring procedural days ahead.
how i wish that i can be someone who's dependable, reliable, who does what she says,someone who keeps her promise. if i were to be my dad, i would desperately want to track that stray naughty sperm back in preventing this hazard coming into earth.

i m tired. i shall sleep.....