I really hate myself...
Why can't i juz act normal? why do i have to be so uncomfortable arnd people?
Is it me? or what?

went for the MILK fund CIP thing this morning. Quite fun at the beginning. Feels great when u hear the coin doink into ur can. I observe that the elderlies are generally more generous. They doink quite alot of money. The kids also. when it comes to teenagers or young ppl, they are $%@$^%. Some just stare at me, some ignore me, some run away when I approach them. Like the hell i want to see their face so badly. Someone donated sweets to me, that's fresh.
Had to walk around smiling so brightly that i wonder what the hell happened...
anyway, it was quite ok la, at the beginning.
later, we were like dam tired. I m lazy to even talk. i became totally anti social and i duno, dun even wanna talk to shimin, who also didn bother to talk to me, coz she got her glamourous Charmaine.
sigh, why didnt daryl come to ToPaYo today??? would have walked up to him n ask for donations and hp no.... LoL
oh ya, i asked for donations from a tcher in anderson whom i duno, oops, awkwardness...
the stupid 88 and 159 take so long to drive from tpy to my home, i sit until i want to puke.
better avoid going to tpy...
when i got home, i ate noodles, it was heavenly coz i havn eaten since morning. then i went to sleep, i think i drooled alot, coz my pillow smells weird, eek.
I've got plenty of work to do tmr, hw and tests to study for, and i have lessons in the aftnn.
buzy day, all by myself, tt explains why i m anti social. i m like always alone.......
there were this 2 guys from china, they make their own mvs and upload onto e net, they are like so famous now, coz their mvs are dam funny.
when i watched their mvs, i laughed non stop, coz its really hilarious.
then i felt miserable, how i wish i cud be liddat, doing crazy things with my pal.
problem is where the hell is my pal?!
applying perfectly to this ancient saying:
(the one puuqin said for chinese lesson...)
相识满天下，知己有几人。
something like that, its a shame i forgot the orginal vs. well the meaing is there...
its really hard to be a happy teen.
like always thinking abt whether u are good enough, doubting yourself, unsure abt yourself....
hope i can step out of this, soon...