i am rightfully pissed

what does a closed door mean to u?? do not enter. pls knock and wait for answer. is that too much to ask? isnt that basic manners, close to programmed into our minds??? it is just politeness to respect someone else's privacy, and the closed door means there is something i don want ppl to see! and what the freaking idiot just barge in like nobody's business and not giv a shit whether i want him in my room or not. for goodness sake, its not even my room, its my parent's room, and my mom is sleeping!!! and u freaking outsider just barge in like that? without even knocking, without even acknowledging that this is not ur home, but mine, and my parent's room!!! and i dont owe u anithing! ur fucking wireless cannot connect is nothing to do with me! help me check it out can? check what u tell me, bloody asshole, mine is totally no problem, check what? i plug in plug out no problem, then for sure not my problem alr wad. then whose u tell me. mine? i willed ur fucking computer to cannot connect to the wi fi??? i got nothing better to do? everyday i wake up first thing u ask me check internet connection, u tink i very free izzit? the fuggin connection is crazy coz i have to let u use wi fi, and most of the time i cannot use oso! do u see me complaining??? NO! i sacrifice my precious rest time n study time to figure out the bloody problem with my connection, and finally its all good, the next day u tell me to check agen??? walao, i want to chop off ur bloody head can. if u cannot stand the shit connection go get some wireless card or wadever shit if u are so clever. i might not be entirely IT savy but at least i can tell that my connection got no problem and so it cannot be my fault that ur bloody pc cannot connect to the wi fi!!!! and u still can qn me "so its my fault then??" like DUH!!! how many times must i tell u nicely that if mine can connect, there is no bloody problem, so the problem is not with me!!!!! i feel like slapping u lor. idiot asshole. and my dad, he just sits there and watch him open the door to his room like free and dont even care that my mom is sleeping in the room. PRIVACY!!! do u like to be watched when u are asleep somemore by some bloody nephew that u dun even like. i m so dam pissed with my dad. why the hell he's so scared of this bloody nephew???? talk to him as if trying not to piss him off???? whats ur damned problem. he's just a nephew with bad manners and bad social attitude. why the apprehension. why why why. why do i have to do his every bidding????? why??? he want connection, i go and figure it out and let him have a good time. he want to use the toilet, i faster finish my business and get the hell out of there. whats the figgin big deal with him???? i dont see any bit of him worth of such treatment. he should just die. i hate it man, i hate it to the core!!!!!

BoreDOM

sian.....im super dying from studying..i dont see any more meaning in mugging other than the fact that if i dont, i'd have no future. CRAZY shit, i bet if i had gone out to work at the age of 15, i would have totally earned my first million by now. who cares about getting A for exams, can eat? can feed ur baby? I bet 50 bucks for half the ppl who scores A all the time to be a loser in their lives after school. this is something i learnt from studying CLL, this prose about a wise man who leads a very carefree life when the entire society strives for fame and status. when he studies, whenever he has learnt something new he can be so overjoyed that he forgets to eat, but he does not dwell on the words and phrasings or make himself memorise everything. this is what learning should be! to the learn the essence and forget the form. who the stupid asshole go and memorise everything from a to z, siao, even as big as u think ur head is, there are other more important things to remember other than just knowledge and more knowledge. and i always believe that knowledge are crap when they are not being used. so what if u get like A STAR STAR in some subject, it all reduces to mere alphebets if in the end u do not use it. so why why...do i have to memorise and stuff so much crap into my brain, when i could actually immerse myself in things that i like learning????? i havn drawn for eternity and i tink i probably returned most of what i learnt back to my teacher. which is...aaaaargh...irritating.....
i m bored to the max man....so bored that i actually tried to watch harry potter all over agen...which i find is quite entertaining after awhile...but i cant go on to finish it! because i need to study!!! damn it........im now really quite pissed....
i thought o lvl was bad......now i have to go through it all over agen......i feel like screaming my head off..........and just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah......can i turn time backwards and lead my carefree toddler life for the rest of my life.........................
sometimes life is just boring........and its even more irritating to find that this boredom kills ur every interest in anything at all........seeing that i dont even feel like drawing anything......i know this is totally screwed up shit. whyyyyy..........i 'd rather be a small little butterfly fluttering around the bush downstairs and get eaten by the idiot cat that meows so loudly night after night. i m being incoherent, which reminds me that i have been dreaming really imaginative dreams these few days. one very memorable one was that i could exercise super power, such as closing the door w/o touching it, moving things, levitating my mom....all with a twisted handsign, which i recalled i tried to do it when i woke up and then realized it was all but a dream.........hah...how i wish i could be a manga character in ONEPIECE, it would be so exciting! my life would be entirely different! and it would be just so untiring to find myself in different worlds one after another, and have enemies' butts to kick every now and then.......sometimes i just get very negative............which is very unlike myself, i always thought that life is beautiful.......oh whatever.........i shall force myself to mug for another 30 mins before i flop dead.......

You Are An ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. In love, you see everything as a grand adventure. You enjoy taking risks for love. And if things don't work out, you're usually not too much worse for the wear! You would make a great entrepreneur, marketing executive, or actor. At work, you need a lot of freedom to pursue your own path and vision. How you see yourself: Analytical, creative, and peaceful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Detached, wishy-washy, and superficial

What's Your Personality Type?

プロポーズ 大作戦！

刚刚一口气看完了一部日剧，名为《求婚大作战！》。实为感动，所以与此抒发一下感言。
《求婚大作战》讲述了发生在一个婚礼当天的一个故事，现在想起来结构与中华文学里读的《雪山飞狐》有点相似，就是与现实一天内，演绎过去，还有将来。 故事的男主角“岩瀬健”（山下智久饰）与女主角“吉田禮”是从小学三年级就一直在青梅竹马的好朋友。健一直深深爱着禮，而禮也一直喜欢着健，可是两人之间 青梅竹马的那层关系却一直阻碍着两人进一步的发展。就这样拖沓，直到礼终于要成为别人的新娘时，健的极度懊悔让奇迹出现了... ...
住在教堂里的妖精看到健的悔恨于心不忍，与助他一臂之力，让他能回到过去改变那一切让自己后悔、让礼遗憾的事迹。于是通过婚礼上播映的照片 Slideshow中的一张张回忆的照片，他穿越时空，回到过去，想方设法地改过、修正、涂抹。可是一次次的失败和一次次回到现实看见可爱的新娘坐在别的 男人身边时，他近乎放弃。过往的事迹一刀一刀刺痛了他的心，仿佛无论他如何努力都只是把礼推得越来越远而已，自己眼睁睁地看着新爱的人一步步走向别的男 人。无能为力的同时还要佯装祝福，实在是痛彻心肺。
当Slideshow放到真正最后一张照片了，他回到过去倾尽全力设法挽回，却冥冥中悟出了一个道理。与其一直悔恨过去，希望能从新来过，不如努力现在， 放眼未来。既然已经发生过的不管回去多少次，能改变的也只是漫长历史中的数个小时，还不如把握住现在，把握住将来更来得可贵。
男孩用尽妖精给他的所有机会，领悟了这个道理，于是回到婚礼上，一好友的身份对新郎新娘致词，倾吐了十四年来郁积在心中的一切感情，然后扬长而去。精疲力竭的他来到教堂里，在耶稣面前不禁失声哭泣。这一切都过去了啊。至少我努力了啊。只要礼得到幸福我就满足了啊。
结局如何我就不说了，相信我，这是一部非常好的片子。我从中学到了几个道理，不加修饰，朴朴实实的做人道理。比如说“什么事都等着明天来做的人，是傻瓜”，“心里有话就该说出来，不要以为那个人会一直在那里”，等等、等等。
感动啊。感动的同时，也惊讶原来一直走偶像路线的山下智久能够如此真实地出现在荧幕上，不造作、不虚伪，仿佛他就是那个喜欢了女孩十四年之久的痴情男孩。不仅如此，毕竟山下是个超级帅蛋，看这部戏可是流够了口水的啦。强力强力推荐！！
一下是图览时间

中国人

今天，5月19日，下午2.28分，距四川大地震一个星期，全球的华夏儿女沉痛地默哀三分钟。这是史无前例的三分钟，悲痛的三分钟，让所有中国人这一个星期以来积蓄的情绪释放的三分钟。全中国下半旗，汽车轮船火车列车那一刻一起鸣笛，和全球的中华儿女一起沉痛地追悼在地震中丧生的同胞。

我和父母在家里的客厅，面对着电视，默哀了三分钟。默哀的同时，我注视着电视屏幕，各地的华人或有组织地集体默哀，或在自己的岗位起立默哀，新闻主播鲁豫默哀时不住抽泣，工作人员全都庄严肃穆地默哀。虽然是短短的三分钟，但这体现的是我们中国人的团结和力量。从有关地震的新闻报道里，我看到了中国的强大，团结，和守望相助的精神。凄凉悲欢离合，鼓舞人心的救助支援不断地打动我们的心。虽然我们一家人远在他乡，无法与全中国一起承受灾难后的劫后余生，无法献出我们微薄的力量，但是这三分钟让我们感觉到我们还是中国人，身在他乡又如何，只要我们的心紧紧相连，这场灾难中国一定挺得过去！从灾难中重生的是新的中国，强大的中国，且有宽厚无私的中国！

身为炎黄子孙，我就应该有炎黄子孙的气概，光是哭是没有用的，现在能做的就是好好记住现在的心情，这种沉痛却倍受鼓舞的心情！

I like this picture alot, though I don't really know why, I just like it.

Watched CO concert last night, well, it was quite an eye opener, I've never watched one before, if not for Stepf, bet I will remain knowledgeless abt CO concerts forever. Anw, watching them perform kind of brought back some primary school memories, back when I played the KulingTang in the AngKlung band. Amazingly I could still rmb the notes and beats I used to play in this Tango song we performed at SYF. ah~~ memories...

back to CO concert, it was eye opening yes, there were some instruments that I had never seen before, and I found it quite odd for a guy to play GuZheng. Stepf's percussion performance was memorable. Its suprisingly moving to see your friends up there doing their "thing", almost like looking at a different person, I meant it in a good way.

among the songs played last night i especially like the first one called 奋勇前进 and 菊花台. i can't really put into words why, but rather i felt this tingly feeling and the urge to cry when listening to these two pieces. i feel this same feeling when watching the last dance in both Step Up One and Two, when in Superman Returns, Superman carried the land off into space, and when watching One Piece, everytime when Luffy and gang kick some ass, the tears just keep flowing. I guess i feel quite shaken by what I was watching or listening to. listen to this , probably get what i mean...

时间从手指间流逝。。。

最近的日子过得有些糊里糊涂，脑袋里好像清楚一天下来所发生的事情，也可以回想起几天前的“往事”，但心里总觉得不踏实，好像没有活在当下的感觉。真的是如此吗？没有活在当下的人，通常不是沉浸在往事回忆里，就是专心织着未来飘渺的梦，往往当下的那一分那一秒是被忽略掉的。人们总是满脑子对未来的憧憬和计划，总想着将来我要如何如何，将来的日子会像梦中一样美好。问问自己，可能吗？若不把握当下，这些梦想只是过眼云烟，海市蜃楼罢了。没有稳固的基垫，在伟大的城堡也无法建成。我想这个道理很多人都懂，“别在空中建起城堡来”这句谚语耳熟能详，但有谁真的能做得到呢？有多少人又能逐步把梦想变成事实呢？又有多少人陷入白日梦里能够完整地抽身出来呢？“白日梦”就像一片森林，一片隐藏着重重危机的森林，在那蔚然清幽的面具下，无数只魔爪摩拳擦掌，等待着，某个天真的孩子走入。一旦被抓住，想要完整脱身是不可能的，能走出森林的人，都会在森林里失去重要的东西。可悲的是，他们不会知道这重要的东西是什么，永远都不会......

爸爸生病了，喉咙发炎，感冒咳嗽。可能是最近天气无常的关系，许多人都病倒了。爸爸很少生病，偶尔生一次小病其实是一种安慰（说安慰好像不妥，但语言能有限，尽情原谅）。许多人很多年无病无痛，却会突如其来胜一场大病，或患上不治之症。一些病的潜伏期很长，但一旦爆发就无法挽救了。我的阿婆就是如此。身体一向硬朗的阿婆突然被检查出的了肺癌，结果没过多久就走了。阿婆生前非常疼爱我，至今许多儿时与阿婆共度的时光仍历历在目。我很爱阿婆，没能回去见她最后一面是我一生的遗憾。阿婆是我失去的第一个亲人。可能是本来就很久没见着阿婆，阿婆去世总让我感到不真实，我总觉得阿婆仍在照看着我，虽然我并不是很相信鬼神之说。总之我希望阿婆不管在什么地方，是否还是阿婆，或已经转世为人，只要她快快乐乐我就安心了。

人长大了，感慨也多了，有些时候真不知人们活着到底为了什么，有时候想要结束毫无目的的生活（不是要自杀）却又不知从何着手。人生是充满了问号的，本来以为随着自己长大，问号会减少，无奈发现并无减少，反而剧增。无奈，无奈...

就这样。。

昨天去考了SAT I Reasoning Test。感想如下：
1。数学=简单
2。英文=有一点点难
3。长
考试时间约3小时45分钟，又长又臭，考得我精疲力尽，神魂颠倒。但也没那么夸张，因为实在不怎么难，若不出什么马虎，至少两千以上。不是我bhb，而是亲身总结。
考完试后找SQ出来吃饭，我们都是累人两个，趴在桌子上都懒得动，平常她还会帮我卖，对她挤眉弄眼一下就搞定的，结果不成功，反变得我得给她卖，失败。。。
后来又去吃蛋糕，幸福。
总结昨天，累。不过开心。

回到家，突然听爸爸说差点儿就见不着他了，吓出我一身冷汗。原来中午爸爸和同事出去吃饭，回来的时候乘同事的车，在十字路口出了车祸，被一辆小货车撞上。爸爸坐在靠内的座位，离被撞的车身较远，没有受伤。真是万幸啊。今年是爸爸的本命年，万事得多加小心，不要出事才好。爸爸还开玩笑的说还好他穿了红内裤，为他挡了一灾。红内裤啊，红内裤，万分感谢你保护了我爸爸，希望这一年内都能好好保护他。感激不尽了。

Yesterday ^^ (Happy Bday Ivie)

muaha..ytd was fun, esp the "ivie dunking" muaha, fun. who's bday next heeheehee.
photos taken from class blog ^^ ytd was a pretty good day, apart from beatrice losing 200 gold from quiting viwawa halfway when the kuku technician came in to kaypo.

“那是女娲炼石也无法弥补的天裂”

女娲炼石补青天，这是多么恒古流传的神话，美丽、壮阔，有沧桑。记得小时候有一部中国动画片专门讲述这类神话故事，在我看来，那应该是中国动漫的始祖了吧，题材画风都不错的说。华文课上，读了一篇短篇小说，又或者是一篇长篇散文？一万多字。。。到底。。。
故事是写作者白先勇和好友王国祥（关系暧昧）一起生活过的日子，直到王国祥因病去世。这篇文章我花了整整一的小时才读完，文章感情从轻快到沉重到悲伤，引人入胜，叩人心弦。若不是在大庭广众下，我早已痛哭失声。尤其是最后一句“...那是一道女娲炼石也无法弥补的天裂。”我整颗心都要碎了。人生在世，知己难求。得一知己，则死而无憾。酒逢知己千杯少。知己啊，知己... 王国祥不但是白先勇的知己，甚至是他的爱人，王国祥的死对白先勇来说可能是世界末日了吧。我不敢，也不能说我能理解白先勇的心情，但是读到“天裂”时我的确感受到了他的悲痛，心一下揪住，热泪盈眶。
“树犹如此，情何以堪”...

life is UNFAIR!!!

I duno why. life is juz so unfair...and i duno whr is the unfairness, i juz tink its super uber duper unfair. *crashed wall*
people can work at 5 bucks per hour, and earn 800 in a month! and wad hav i??? *kicks wall* my job makes me feel bad abt myself, coz i juz cant do things rite. they have so mani do's n don'ts that i wonder who the hell actually cares!? being a waitress is so not my thing, so not my thing totally. even tho, well, some ppl thinks its cool, and the environment is good.....but it juz doesn suit me at all!!!! i dun talk during work, i dunno why....i m not a quiet person at work.....n i DUN TALK!!!! its crazy....
the people thr...i donoo...i juz dun find them likeable....even tho i hav nth agenst them...........nooooo!!! stop making me into an introvert pls!!! uh...i shall quit my job very soon......very very soon......

trauma

I'm having the "why is everything happening to me" feeling now...
sadly, there's is this man who just committed suicide at my block..I went to look at the scene. His body was covered in white sheets, and dark blood could be seen flowing out. According to neighbours, this man doesnt live in my block, but one block across the street...it was a young man in his twenties...
i feel sad for the guy...wonder what was going on in his mind when he jumped...I feel traumatised coz i recall that I actually heard the "thump" sound while peeling fruits in the kitchen......
I can't sleep tonight no more......

happy day ^^