okay, i knoe that time goes by fast, and it really does go by fast, im still traumatized that it has gone by so fast.
for crying out loud, its half way thru march alr.........
anyways, my results for this term was lousy, got a pretty 50 for my english, and bloody 60 for CHInese.
Hello? Me? Getting a fooking b4 for chinese?! I could go knock myself on the wall already.
Am i really more deprived or wad? y do ppl get 90+ while i could hover around 50-60?? Am i really that stupid??
oh shux......nvm........like everybd else's doing, i shall work xtra hard for the second term.

I do not think that my intepretations to life and understanding to certain issues are shallow and superphicial (however u spell it...), i do catch the gist of things and can add in my own opinions. y is that my mom keep saying that my comprehension skills are lousy? more often than not, i deem myself to be able to understand things that many can't. Izzat lousy??
in my opinion, my mom is the one who has weird understanding of things, sometimes i really couldn't care less about what she thinks, cuz it would always oppose to mine. Always......
even without realising that she's doing it, she says "no" by instinct.
why am i downgrading my own mother here......
nope, this is not downgrading, i luv her as much as i luv life (well...) its just that sometimes ppl need to complain.
i can't complain to her not because i think it's rude or disrespectful, but because that whatever i say will be immediately butted back at me.
i m 17! i know to a certain extent what is right and what is wrong, why is that every sensible thought I have, had to be shot back at me being unrealistic and impractical?? Come on!
Maybe sometimes what i say could be pretty improbable, like building castles in the air, unrealistic ramblings abt what i wanna do in the future. Hey, isn't there at least a little room for imagination and creativity??
I've just read an analysis on THE ENGLISH TEACHER. The themes about predictability vs unpredictability never hit me as much it did. It applies so well to my own life, that i kind of feel a connection with Narayan, that our lives have a similiar scent.
That our lives are stifling and mundane due to all the timetables and schedules and deadlines...where did the spontaneity and "live" life go??

I m posting the pictures i took at the Zoo yesterday, LoL, my first time at the Singaproe Zoo.
COOOl..........

siao ah pek

what a freaking day it was....
let me briefly recount the terrible event that took place 3 hrs ago.
...
it was a beautiful aftnn, with the terribly beautiful sun showering us with his beautiful rays of light.........
along the busy street of AMK, beside the teeny little bank,
this PESTY INSANE AH PEK came to us...
"$^%@$#^%$&...BO...^*^&*$"
i m thinking that he's probably asking for $$.
we picked up our speed and he sped up his.
we raced across Guardian, and we ran into the MINOSHE Brassiere shop.
AHA, come n get us old man, LoL.
He walked straight and down the road, disappearing around the corner of the bakery shop.
"Did he go away??"
"Let's cross over to the other side ^^."
We ran.
We saw.
He saw.
I peeked around the corner to see if he's still following, that's when my gaze met his, sending shivers down my spine. He's crazy.
We went crazy and took off running.
Thinking of heading back to PoPuLar, but no, we will still go to Mac.
So we took a UlU route along the carpark, and ran with all our might, charging into Mac.
Panting and sweating, we sat down at the small corner at the rear end of the mac.
we changed places 3 times, and ended up in the corner near the counter.
we thot we lost him.
we were wrong...
just as we savoured the last spoon of Msflurry icecream, i saw him sneeking around outside.
"Oh Shiit! He's here!"
Ducking my head under the table, futile attempts to hide myself. We put our heads on the table, and peeked from below our arms.
He peered around, sniffing our traces.....
he sneeked in, heading towards our first seat.

That's it! We are leaving this place!
I stepped out and almost got tripped over by a freaking umbrella poking out from the neighboring table.
"Damn it"
Meanwhile, Shimin was working on the entangled strap of my bag and the stool with futile efforts.

We shot out of the door and ran for our lives as fast as our trembling legs could carry us. We managed to escape. Once again. Cool.

Asagao

I found out what Morning Glory is in Japanese.
「朝顔」(asagao)
not fair, it sounds so nice ><
tt is one thing i like abt Jap, it sounds really soothing when u read it.

ok fine, i m rewriting my post, cuz the previous one was lost due to unknown causes.
im frustrated, cuz i hav to write this all over again.......
[breathe in....breathe out.......]
[SMACK!]
anyway, i ve got a new series to catch. I duno wad its name is, >< but it looks kind of promising with pretty nice graphics, and I think it's a Bishounen anime, and of cuz i would support all bishounens!!!
ok, tt was crap.
today is one whole week aft last saturday, the horrible outing i went to.
guess now i can say smth abt it.
ok, i shall continue tmr.....

a new anime coming ur way!

woosh! new anime to watch!
tho i've never heard of it b4, but its kinda promising ^^, excitement.
and later at 2230, its my fav kor. show! final episode, harhar, must watch.
and wad else....
the lost city of Bombay has appeared in the lift lobby, and I have to step over the relics everytime i go out or come back. Why do they have to do this? The floor looks pretty ok to me, doesnt look old enough to be replaced, y's the govt doing unnecessary things? Its not juz my block, the whole area is undergoin the same thing. Isnt it wastage?
my dad said it was inevitable coz the construction workers had to do some work, if the govt dont giv them smth to do, they'd have no income.
True.
Guess we'll juz have to put up with Bombay for some time then. Its not that bad either, kind of fun to walk on uneven ground.

Samurai Champloo!

i've just finished watching Samurai Champloo.
The ending was not remarkably touching or twisted.
Not much of an emotional stir even.
But I feel so fulfilled. Maybe because finally I finished this anime.
Samurai Champloo has a very unique style, there's one episode which was utterly stupid, it was abt the Mugen Jin and Fuu and somemore other unimportant people playing baseball with the americans. The americans inside were spastic, all they could say was "jesus", "oh my god" and "bastard"....it was like in the end the jap thrashed the americans and they did not dare to set foot on japan ever again. As if it was really true la. So gullible these ppl.
But of coz i was on Mugen's side, he was so hunky!
I liked Mugen and JIn, both of them were so desirable!!! lol....
anyway, what i liked abt them was that they are brave and they kill with style. Come on man, all who fight shud see how they fight la! Kewl beyond description man.
Envy Fuu so much, get to travel with those 2. I'd be so blessed if i cud really meet ppl like them. ><
Long Live! Mugen and Jin!

0h no......i m terribly regretting what i had just done.....how the hell did i coax myself to do it???
boohooo....cries........
its unblivable, i m actualy regretting this when i ve thot "dam it, juz do it man, cut! cut it. No more, finish, enuf!"
now i m really regretting it alr........
why the hell did i do tt for???
now it seems so empty alr.
noooooo.....it isnt happening.......
my mind is going bonkers!
life is so stressful!
i wanna die............

oh its really nice to kno tt i'm actually unattractive and undesirable.
great, brilliant.
that's all i wanted to hear.
Fine! I'll show u ppl what attractive and desirable is, bring it on man.
i feel so darn insulted.........
kns.
u ppl suck!

Feb 18th...the outing....the sadness...the tears.....

ever since last night, i cant help thinking abt him........
like the scenes kept replaying and I think I was very harsh and difficult.......
its not tat i did it on purpose, i jus didn like to left out, i get very frustrated. Especially is that kind of outing, all the more i'd think he hates me.
sighz.........guess i screwed up...........
frenz?

today is a super sucky day! i hate today!
was it me or jus that ..............hurrrrgh........forget it.....
jus remember tat today sucked like hell.

Os

The Day...
The day which the previous batch got back their "o" results.
There were alot of 6 pointers, it was so encouraging, i felt almost that I could be one of them too. If only i could get 6 points, i'd be able to go to TJC.
Anyway, I got back my Express Chi o results, I got an A1, i wasnt surprised, but b4 i got it back, i was dam worried and paranoid. I didn know that I would cry, it just came out when i heard my dad's voice. I sobbed into the phone, and gave my Dad a scare. He thought something terrible happened to me........ my dad....
it's always liddat, the paranoia b4 getting ur results.
you cant help but let your thoughts stray and get the better of you.
it depends on how you take the stress.
seeing the seniors get their results, i thought abt next yr, would i be able to walk out of the hall smiling? mayb not, would I be able to walk out with joy or sorrow? with pride or regret? it all depends, depend on how hard I work myself this yr.
2006, the very impt yr, the yr I take my Os.
but as Mrs Tan said, even tho O lvl is very important, it is only a passing stage in our life. whether we do well or not, we'd still have to get on with our lives. true?

I'd wish for all andersonians to fare for their Os, and pass this mere stage of our lives with no regret, and carry on, living our lives to the fullest, and make the best out of each and everyone of us. For everybody is a gem, u will polish and carve in order to shine. And it's impossible to not shine if you have polished and carved hard enuf.

I really hate myself...
Why can't i juz act normal? why do i have to be so uncomfortable arnd people?
Is it me? or what?

went for the MILK fund CIP thing this morning. Quite fun at the beginning. Feels great when u hear the coin doink into ur can. I observe that the elderlies are generally more generous. They doink quite alot of money. The kids also. when it comes to teenagers or young ppl, they are $%@$^%. Some just stare at me, some ignore me, some run away when I approach them. Like the hell i want to see their face so badly. Someone donated sweets to me, that's fresh.
Had to walk around smiling so brightly that i wonder what the hell happened...
anyway, it was quite ok la, at the beginning.
later, we were like dam tired. I m lazy to even talk. i became totally anti social and i duno, dun even wanna talk to shimin, who also didn bother to talk to me, coz she got her glamourous Charmaine.
sigh, why didnt daryl come to ToPaYo today??? would have walked up to him n ask for donations and hp no.... LoL
oh ya, i asked for donations from a tcher in anderson whom i duno, oops, awkwardness...
the stupid 88 and 159 take so long to drive from tpy to my home, i sit until i want to puke.
better avoid going to tpy...
when i got home, i ate noodles, it was heavenly coz i havn eaten since morning. then i went to sleep, i think i drooled alot, coz my pillow smells weird, eek.
I've got plenty of work to do tmr, hw and tests to study for, and i have lessons in the aftnn.
buzy day, all by myself, tt explains why i m anti social. i m like always alone.......
there were this 2 guys from china, they make their own mvs and upload onto e net, they are like so famous now, coz their mvs are dam funny.
when i watched their mvs, i laughed non stop, coz its really hilarious.
then i felt miserable, how i wish i cud be liddat, doing crazy things with my pal.
problem is where the hell is my pal?!
applying perfectly to this ancient saying:
(the one puuqin said for chinese lesson...)
相识满天下，知己有几人。
something like that, its a shame i forgot the orginal vs. well the meaing is there...
its really hard to be a happy teen.
like always thinking abt whether u are good enough, doubting yourself, unsure abt yourself....
hope i can step out of this, soon...

man, it sucks, i wanted to buy the inbase shoes today, but they were not there anymore! sobx....
anyway, engl. lesson today was not fun, tt Ms Heng was obviously biased la,every other group presented and when it comes to mine, she just let it be when we said we've got nothing much to add, when she insisted other groups to present when they were like also had nothing to add.
I dono what to say abt her, i like her lessons, its interesting but somehow i just feel quite uncomfortable. Like i always find her way of looking at me not very appealing. anyway, we've got another troublesome thing to do, prepare for a 3 min speech on reflections upon reading this article on Bullying. Well, this is a topic that I might have alot to say. But to say it infront of her, i probably need a dose of courage. I cant talk to her at all, i feel oppressed when she talks to me, like i find it difficult to even to look her in the eye. Guess I'll just have to brace it through, its due nxt fridae, i have one week's time to prepare, i m not sure whether its enough.
Today is obviously wasted, couldn buy the shoes i wanted, wasted 2 hrs walking arnd j8 for something not quite my business. i just don feel right, i mean its like its not even our business and u drag us along, and like leave us when u don need us anymore. Please la, i deem myself with alot of pride, i don like being treated like that.
cmon la, crap shit.....
i wanna watch advent children tmr and kns got the stupid MILK thingy.
we are doing it at tpy, again. no big deal for me. I shall go slag and pull thru the thing and return home in one piece to watch my beloved CLOUD!!!
Dad was sposed to swim with me today, but what a @$%@&%, he forgot to bring his swimming trunks. MAN, and he told Mom that it was because I didnt keep it for him! Aaaargh, isnt he atrocious??? so it ended up me swimming alone, and my Dad sleeping on the chair, darn he was so comfortable la.
let's see... i ve got tons of work to do, and i ve got my jap lessons on sun again. kind of don feel lke going....I m planning to cramp all my work to do on sunday tho. shud have enough time la....haha, im lying to myself obviously......dam...
ooo, its getting itchy, i wanna watch FF7 now!

i havnt been blogging for sometime, did i?
right now, i m breaking my head over that stupid lit essay about goodness of children...
there's no goodness in children! they are lil devils running all over the place!i find them cute when they cry...sense of superiority maybe. its ecstatic to see them cry, LoL, that was my secret hobby a long long time ago.
so, what shall i write for my essay?
i find it more frequent that I can't write an essay or a compo smoothly or fluently, it just gets stuck somewhere somehow. either it's because I m slowly forgetting my vocab or I m aging backwards that I donno how to construct a proper sentence. As Ms heng said, my writings are atrocious. never mind that, I think i'm running short on time to do my homework. there's pretty much i need to do. sighs....i m glad there's alot of work, but i juz don have the time and energy to do it....
god bless me ><

oh my god, i'm practically breaking my head over the two essays. its difficult to think. my story is in a mess. I can't even sort out how to begin it. I was trying to start writing out the plot, before I actually go to organise and present it the way i want to. However, even writing out the plot seems almost too impossible for me. i spent one day to come up with a story based on a dream i had, which i could only remember almost nothing about. and spent another day to think of a way to present it, and finally i did come up with something creative as i sat dreaming at the basketball court. I was glad that i went there, because it's pretty relaxing to sit and daydream. I know i shouldn think it a chore which would only make my life more difficult. but i cant help but think it a horrible horrible chore, as writing was never my forte (totally untrue of wad ms Heng said). I have to come up with a 1500 words long essay. I doubt i can even come up with 1500 words long rubbish, let alone a proper essay that would promise me an A in my CA2. Why do i have to go to b1??
the other essay, which I'm supposed to write about my father, was another tedious task for me to do. look at him, what 1000 words can i possibly make up to say about him? well, i could always start by saying that my dad is very very noble and kind...and blah blah blah....but i don want to write untrue stuff about my dad. not because i m worried that if my essay's chosen somehow and my dad gets invited and discovers that what i had written about is all bullshit crap. why would i ever think of that, i wouldn even want anyone to read my essay, for privacy and for dignity.
what can i do???
right now, i'm focusing on my commonwealth essay. i hope i can really really come up with something right. it was a fabulous dream i had, its a pity i forgot about it.
oh man...................i'd rather die........

Worshipping.......

I SAW DARYL!!!! AFTER SOOOO MANY DAYS!!!!!!
KEWL!!!!!!!!!!!!
LoL....
HE'S WEARING ALL RED JERSEY, OOO HOT, HAHAHA, MUZ B AFTER SOME TOURNAMENT BA.
KEWL KEWL!
WEEEEEEEE.................

i'M really starting to abhore ppl who do not respect others.
Either not respecting teachers, or just fellow ppl.
who do they think they are anyway? Being rude and all to ppl, and yet expect ppl to respect them? I think not.
everybody is so darn full of themselves that they could afford to trample on other's dignity. so what if you don like that particular teacher? U "walao" at whatever she says that you do not agree? u sleep during the class right below her nose?
think how does tt feel if it were you?
I bet you are too thick to even think of that.
probably you think its cool that u do not see the big deal of a teacher, that you are brave enuf to go up against her by doing little fidgets just to irritate her.
what good does that do?
and u get angry coz other ppl responds to that teacher u don like?!
please...save me the atrocity...
its just unbelievable that you are like that, I thought you were the sort who knows right from wrong, who respect others....
yet...
just take it that i've been blinded and...wadever...

freaking stupid singaporeans

i hate to say this, but those singaporeans are really getting on my nerve.
i don care if this is a sweeping statement, i m damn unhappy abt this.
Are there anyone more stupid than those ppl? I cant belive this la/
they can barbeque outside the lift, on the 5th floor...
siao la these ppl
dam inconsiderate, i bet those bags of rubbish tt were stuck in the chute were theirs, so darn stupid, they have to taught how to dispose rubbish?
they can freaking throw themselves in!
curse them.
its so dam obvious the father is having affairs, coz he married a dam uncouth and ugly woman who has never properly learnt her manners.
if she doesnt show respect to us, i can jolly well forget abt mine.
she's getting hell from me, mark my words, suckers.

A.I.R

看完了A.I.R 这部动画了。 好感动的。最后还哭了呢。
我好像从中学会了非常珍贵的东西。到底是什么呢？
我说不上来。
不过好像有种很满足的感觉。让人十分温暖那 (笑)
A.I.R 其实是一部很美的动画，描述着一个很凄美的故事。
刚开始还有点看不懂得说，有点摸不着头绪，跟一般的动画不一样。
说它曲折离奇吧，又好像不怎么复杂，蛮简单的故事背景来的。
但要说它简单吗，却又觉得故事的含义很深，令人回味。
所以我才说它很美 (^_^)

到现在，对A.I.R的映像还不是很清晰，朦胧的感觉挥之不去。
似懂非懂的样子。
回味呀，回味。。(v_v)

总觉得我好像变成熟了呢，长大了呢。
A.I.R 值得一看啊，感叹人与人之间的爱。
强力推荐哦！