How come..

why is it that I can always find something else to do when I have the most imminent thing on my hand already. I have a paper to sit for tomorrow and two on the day next. Frankly speaking, I'm in totally no position to take the paper because I haven't learned half the syllabus, let alone revision and preparing for exam!?
I have come to terms with myself that this semester was overwhelming much, that I misplaced my balance. I dabble in things so many that I couldn't focus on any one of them, I totally missed my entire purpose in University. I even needed someone to remind me that my purpose here is to study. For that period of time, I didn't know what was I doing here. Now as I think back, I find myself utterly ridiculous. Sidetrack, I just watched first ep of the drama called Privileged, and I feel inspired by the "what-do-call-the-main-person" who was motivated, focused and ambitious, but got lost in the middle of life and the story tells how she pick herself up along helping others. Nowadays, I think that belief is a choice, I choose to believe in something and I commit to it. I choose to believe in finding a goal and working for it, for if I find this worthy goal or ambition, I don't want it to come to me free, I want to attain it through my own work. Some may say, street smart please, why work so hard? Why? Coz it's worth it. Random ramblings, but I feel like I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I am setting standards for myself, not like how I used to work to standards set by teachers and/or parents, now I work for myself. yup, back to mugging. PS: I am greatly amused by "Muggerita". I can't help it.