happy day ^^

YES no more SHIIT!!!

yay, joy to the world! PW is so over!!! actually the OP onli la, but who cares abt I&R??? my group was the last group to present for our slot la. then wa see the first two group finish everything, was like so jealous la. then when we finish, no more excitement alr....diaoz...but im happy nonetheless haha. should i bitch here??? like its so over already, no point in bitching abt it animore. shall blog another day man, play time wahahahaha. and i have to say that WANG LI HONG's GAI BIAN ZI JI is super inspiring! I was like feeling damn good about myself when listening to this song! like in the morning on the bus, i was alternating btw this song and the stupid recording of my voice. it was inspiring nonetheless.
shiiit, i still have chinese homework, DUE TODAY!!! Fack....
heck, shall play first. wahahahaha

life is so irritating sumetimes...

how often do you find a young man (MAN for crying out loud) not able to tidy up his room, greet his elders, be nice to his sister. NOT very OFTEN, but yet, i dio one right in my house. I mean, it may be due to his brought up wadever that he doesn do any housework, throw his things about, be so messy that im certain a pig would snort at his room in disgust. omg, look at his room! (which was initially MY study!) He has one study table with cupboards for books, and dozens of drawers, one closet totally new and bought entirely for him, and half of a book shelf which is rightfully mine (and i told him to clear out of it...) and he's still throwing everything around. WTH its my home not HIS! I feel like screaming in his face man, does he intend to let my mom, tired after work, and go work her ass off to clean up his room for hiM??? my mom will not do it, i wont agree to that! what freaking right does he have to make MY MOM work for HIM? in ur fucking dreams sucker!
and my dad, din he like promise to educate him, be stern and forceful when he does smth wrong, when i offered to use his hp to send a moderately stern msg saying "clean up your room", he insist that i use "please". TO HELL WITH THAT LOR! If i had to beg him to do that, I would more happily choose to mince his head off with that chopper. LIKE HELL!! Its so freaking unfair, esp when my dad already knows this guy has been brought up totally wrong, self-centred and selfish, he doesnt want to be stern to him juz because he's lost his father and does not have any kin with him here. That IS pitible, but this is a different thing!!! I dont see anibd asking me to tidy up my room with a "please"? I'd sooner get a beating before i get that. this is totally ridiculous la.
omg
i cant bear for the 2 yrs to end and this sucker leaves my life entirely. Im not being super unfriendly or out-casting him because he sort of like took away half a daddy. He doesn deserve it omg, to be treated with respect, even though he is older than me by a couple of months. WOuld u respect someone who doesn respect your parents, cant rmb to turn off the tap after use, doesn giv a damn abt leaving the door unlocked and exposing my entire family to danger??
he sux, and i have to admit my dad is not making any difference at all even though he said he would. my dad is such a procrastinator, he always waits for a "chance", like hell this chance is gonna come soon...this bloody guy whether intentionally or not has been planning his schedule totally different from us such that he doesnt have to see our faces. and my dad continues patiently to wait for that precious chance to come.
if i were my dad, being stern is not being mean, being all strict is the one n only way to help this nephew of his, and he's still trying to be just be nice. He has totally pissed off my mom on this, and she doesn bother herself with the issue anymore, and belive it or not, he's pissing me off too. when that fateful moment comes, and i snaps, i will make hell for the fucking asshole.

fucking asshole

that cousin of mine is a super fucking asshole. its almost unbelievable that someone so grotesque exist and has to live with mi...
he is such an eyesore that i sometimes i really hoped that his dead father could revive and just bring him away.
i know its sad to have lost his father at a young age. that doesnt mean he can come n try to ruin my family. i have been putting up with the shit he's been giving me because my father has openly proclaimed that he is a responsibility that his late brother passed on to him, and he has to be responsible for him until his stay is over.
i have been swallowing my anger and frustration on the account of doing it for my father since he feels obliged to fullfil his brother's wishes.
i need an outlet desperately, i m seriously going crazy from frustration.
this fucking ass is a stupid backstabber, and the person he backstabs is none other than my mother, fuckin hell... he twists the truth and made it sound like my mother was abusing him or something...and complains to my father. fucking crazy, my mother is not obliged to look after him, and she takes on the role of a loving aunt who looks after him like how she looks after me. and this is how he repays her.

now my parents are frustrated at each other for lack of understanding on both sides. my mom doesn understand my father's sense of responbility towards this nephew of his. and my dad couldn understand her frustration over his lack of respect and rudeness towards her. all in all, this fucking asshole should go to hell. it is all his fault that my happy family is now filled with animosity.

at times like this, i have to do something to keep my side of the battle tight, i have to keep my parents close and then we could together ward off the evil asshole trying to break up my family.

if anything ever, ever happens to my family, he will be held responsible, and i will give him hell.

beware u arsehole full of shiit!!!

suei

ok, i havn been blogging for really long time. but something happend today that i must record. I dio-ed bird shit for the first time in my life!
my god, it was damn stupid...
i actually felt the shit drop onto me, juz tt i dismissed it thinking someone juz accidentally hit me or smth. imaging....damn sian..........
wth...stupid bird...

...

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 46% Schizoid |||||||||||| 50% Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 58% Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 62% Borderline |||||| 30% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 54% Avoidant |||||||||||| 46% Dependent |||||||||| 34% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||| 34%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

changing mi...

I think I am a super inconsiderate, selfish and stuck-up kid.
I made my mom n dad angry today coz i din call back to say that i wont be coming home for dinner...
a slight memory loss, and they blew their top at me.
well, on my part, it wasn't something to be angry about, i simply forgot to call back...a slip of the mind, trivial...
but my mom was worryin about mi, not knowing whether to cook my dinner or not, not knowing whether i am safe or not...and when she called mi, i din pick up my phone coz i couldnt hear it...double the anger...
guess im busted tmr....
prays...

oso, i m really sorry that i took my bro for granted and selfishly hated him for disturbing my life...i guess i was a really bad host, and totally din do my part to make him feel comfortable and welcomed....instead i was feeling proud to be alienating him....
wad a jerk i am....
i am not totally disliking him based on nothing, there are times when it is annoying and i can't find an outlet to discharge...
i wasn't born with a brother, and now i have one, i should be grateful and i should play my part as a good younger sister...
i should grow up...
i am no longer a kid...
i do not need all the attention, and i can take care of myself.
i can control my actions and thoughts, and sort out my priorities.
i need to have a target to work towards to.
and, i need to save up, to realize my bold dreams.

proud to be a matured me...

memorable...

ahem...i shall write this post solemnly...
today, is the first day i m wearing a....
tampon...

not meant to be disgusting or wad...juz thot tt this is quite a meaningful thing, that i shud rmb this is the day.

tampons are disgusting...
they are biodegradable...
wad.....

Taste of Reality...

Seriously i think CCAB is cursed...i mean, how can VJC and SAJC both lose their semi-finals when they are the strongest teams of all?? I was anticipating the finals match between SAJC and VJC..sadly, there won't be anymore...
Sometimes, when reality hit you, it takes awhile for it to sink in..
When the 7th RJC player scored the fateful penalty goal, there were cheers going up around me, i thought VJC had won...but somehow the soccer guys' reactions didn't tally. I saw Pakin crouching on the ground crying his heart out, the sight is heart-wrenching...I have just realized that it's far more painful to watch a guy cry than watch a girl cry. It's a totally different thing.
When later the whole soccer team stood before the VJC crowd, and apologized to us that they have done nothing but their best, but they lost it to luck, there's nothing more they can do, soon the whole team was sobbing, crying into their jerseys. The crowd cried too, so did I, I realized that I am proud to be a VICTORIAN, and their pride is ours too. I've always thought that the VJC soccer boys are glory of VICTORIA, it's always nice to see them around in school. VJC soccer boys losing a game is not a common thing, it's not even anticipated in the first place. We always believed that they are the best, and our cheers could bring out the best in them. However, today, we lost to luck...
When the team stood before us and everybody sang the VICTORIA school song together, I really felt that I am part of this big, and warm family, where everyone looks after everyone else...it's sad, but it's heart-warming.
I feel great to be integrating into the big, warm family.
I LOVE VJC!!!

And it was really nice to see all the sa peeps again, i saw benjamin, sean, jerico, sharon and alot more familiar faces. haiz, its kind of sad to see them actually, had i not joined vjc, i'd be with them...this so contradicting...i love both vjc and sajc...yet my love can't be shared....

got work tmr...hazel not gg...kns...pangseh me....how...

Busted..horrible day

Damn tired la today, slept through most of my classes, i really fell asleep leh, not the usual juz lying thr coz im lazy to sit straight. Really DAMN TIRED!! Hate mondays la, super long day, boring lessons. I got freaking scolded in Chi lit class for sleeping...Im in the wrong, but then can't help it ma...shudn't have worked on sunday...even though it was damn fun haha. I was super high after 10pm, KC was like 'she's mad, mad already" then he was telling shiqi to call IMH to bring me away...lol...shiqi actually got the no. leh, so she was like joking about calling them...ahahha, then i go disturb her and she accidentally pressed call....wahaha, her first call to IMH, memorable rite. wahaha
oh, shall blog abt my job, its dam fun on the 2nd day. I get to learn how to make milkshakes, smoothies, waffle with ice cream. waseh, i m like damn proud of myself, coz the boss was like "eh this ger is smart leh" whahaha. Around 11 am, the customers start to come in, i wonder why these ppl go to COURTs on MOther's Day...lol...anw, we started to get busy, the order was increasing non-stop la, got one period i was making milkshakes non-stop! The milkshakes, according to NANA, are not very liquid, like lao sai...so quite hard to pour out of the blender, so before i pour, muz shake the blender like crazy, or bang it on the sink. got one time, i forgot i took out the cover and banged it, and got splashed with the strawberry milkshake, super malu, somemore ppl sitting around the counter can see everyth i do...i tink i entertained them alot...the whole day i was dam high, like on drugs liddat, keep shouting for ppl who ordered muffins but havn come n take. Got some aunties and a few uncles the attitude damn chao one la, altho can't blame them also, we too busy sometimes forget they are waiting ma, wa they all direct at me leh, coz i was the one checking their receipts and giving them stuff accordingly, after awhile the receipt accumulate until i dunoo who's is who's...keep saying sorry sorry...
oh, muzn forget, when i makeing the first milkshake, had to open new bottle of milk, is the square box tt type, have to cut off the edge one. i cut the hole abit too big, squeeze the bottle abit ony, the milk will squirt out, i got flustered thn duno how to pour into the blender without spilling. there was this stupid man lookin at mi pour, aft i finish rite, wa he straight away go complain to my boss lor, "excuse me, may i comment arh, i tink its not very hygienic to let the milk flow down the bottle into the blender"..wa want to strangle him la, stupid gay man...aft tt he order two beef pie, i gave to him without heating it up, he came back aft eating half of the pie and went like "i'm sorry arh, but could i ask whether u heated it up because its cold.." obviously i din heat la...tt's y its cold ma...my fault...too busy till i forget...we were literally working as cows leh...
but it was fun.. haha...

i hate school!!!

omg, can't believe it, my weekend juz ended like that...its two freaking days, and its over alr?? dang.... anw...pictures time, im uploading the pics i took when i went back to ASS last last fri. missed ASS alot...

mi n shimin in the ger's cubicle ^^
took from inside the cubicle, char look stooopid!
mi n char inside the cubicle, lol, she's a fake hwachonger
haha char looks dumb

april and char
april and shimin
huiyi, me, shimin n char, at 4/2 classrm

april n huiyi


thr shud be more but i tink its not in my phone, didn manage to get from them. We saw a whole bunch of ppl dat day, including Mr Neo, Mr Lim and even Ms Lau...haha, missed them alot alot alot....thn we went to slack in 4/2 classroom, so saddening, the classrm changed alot , even the doors got repainted into lime green while we had shit green last time...shit green's better...
shall pon sch on ASS speech day, its on 29th June i tink, freaking late, other sch's speech day was like long over in feb or march liddat, ASS is late this yr i think.. Oh, btw Mr LIM is now the head of subject of maths i tink, haha, he is dam nice, and he wore lime green tt day, shud have taken a photo with him...memories....ASS is better than i thought it was, and we only realise it now...kind of saddening

irritated...

i'm starting to find my brother really irritating. It could be because that i've never had siblings and never had to share my things with somebody, that's why i get very irritated with him using my things, going into my room, messing with my territory.. when i actually think about it, he is very much better than many ppl's brothers out there, but I still have this bad feeling inside me, I just don't like sharing my personal things with ppl, even if its my brother. then again, i probably only need some time to adjust, if only i could overcome the irritation.
he always talks to me in a tone like i'm a three yr old, he even thinks that my english is lousy (while his is worse, like duh...), whatever, regarding me as a kid is one thing, taking what i say as unimportant and simply ignoring it is another thing. all in all, i am totally fed up with this brother of mine, even though i've only lived with him for a little more than two months.
one reason why i can't stand him, is probably because he uses the com too much, so much that i even have to ask him to let mi use, and the internet cable is freaking mine for goodness sake...he has the cheek to keep using it n using it, just because it happens to be in his room which was formerly my study room.
one more thing that really pisses mi off, there was this one time, i was in my room doing stuff, he came in, look at me, and said "pls" , doing the "would u pls leave" gesture. I was dumbfounded...he actually asked me to leave my own room...wth...i think he really has no manners to begin with la.........wth...........
sometimes even my parents cannot tolerate his lack of manners, laziness and everything...
sometimes i really hope that he hadn't came at all, disrupting my life like this, i hope he didnt exist...ok, not very workable..maybe he shud just go rent some hostel and live with his sicko frenz...
sickening...........
irritating.....................................

omg i look fat...
FLY ~
im a TWITAHMA!
im a twit!!!

mi eating kfc crispy chicken
yiqing eating zinger looking like a bear
see no evil hear no evil speak no evil
MAOz
at serena's condo, last day of sa

last day at sajc, eventful i shall say...

okay, last day in sa, quite sian in the morning coz onli like 8 of us came to sch today, so our last pe lesson was cancelled, much to my disappointment. Well, today the jae posting results were released, I m in vj!! woosh! uber happy!
thn we slacked around the sch la.
at around 1140 liddat, we went to the balcony thr to play cards. thn suddenly we felt the ground moving, yiqing and nerissa said they felt giddy, i felt it too, juz tt i thot it was someone shaking the table and dismissed it until it dawned upon us, EARTHQUAKE!!!! it was the first time in my life to experience an earthquake, we basically freaked out, the other ppl from other tables oso freaked out, thn everyone was like "omg omg, earthquake!" [screams] later we were assembled at the track, thn we realise tht it really was an earthquake. haha how eventful...
ltr on our way out of sa, there was this media crew trying to catch ppl to interview, i escaped it the first time, and stood thr watching chen yang getting interviewed, i even went to snap a few pics. I wanted to run but then muz wait for him la, so we waited across the road. wa when i turn back to look agen, they finished interviewing him and tt reporter was heading towards us!!! Yiqing run so fast la, wa i oso wanted to run, thn they all ask mi to go, the reporter oso saw mi, in the end, i got interviewed...
i was trying hard not to smile coz mingyu n nerissa were behind the camera trying to mime so that i know wat so say.
in the end, when i saw my face on tv i super regretted la, i looked so stooooopid!!! my parents were like "no, not ugly wad, so cute" i super depressed can, i cant stand my face la ><
haha after alot of persuading, i finally let it go, forget it la, ugly then ugly lor, i oso not some pretty girl, my face born liddat, then i shall accept it and like it, and not care about what others say about me. haha

I love my GrandDad!

My Grandfather arrived in Singapore at 3am. My Dad n me waited impatiently as we saw the ppl coming out one by one but no sign of my grandfather, my dad did his random speculations again that maybe we waited for the wrong plane..dots...there was this couple standing beside us, and wtf they were toking freaking childishly man. Especially the woman, she looked like 30 plus but was using a voice like some 5 yr old little girl, i duno whether she was acting cute or wad, she was super annoying. I felt like killing her when she started spouting Jap...wth man...she was like " sugooooiiii ne~~~ (act cute)"...omg wtf man, totally disgusted la, me n my dad was like "omg so childish!" den they left, my grandfather still haven come out...then there came a reallly old man, he was wearing that huge thick army coat that we see in the movies, he was pushing a cart and walking pass then I finally spotted my grandfather, he's really smart looking for his age. When suddenly the old man in army coat collapesed on to the floor right before me! He looked so feable and weak I thought he passed away right then and there! Well, thank goodness he didnt, apparently he was too weak for the flight and he wore too much for the temperature that's why he fainted. ok, i got to sleep, my grandfather sleeps in this room so i cant be using the com til too late. I mISSED the vball during pe today!!! omg so sad....

Where?

yes, whr do i go??

ytd was olvl results day, I'm really happy with my results, and so are my parents. I am a 7 pointer, and I got A1 for English which what I've been dreaming to have, and I got A2 for combines humans which has never happened to me but happened to me at last. Well, I am still really happy and glad that, hey my hardwork has paid off, altho its still a pity that one more point i could be a 6 pointer. See it another way, I still have room for improvement. My Dad's really proud of me and he wishes me the best, he thinks that I can do even more than this since he believe I have not put in all that I have into this exam, how about 50%? My Dad wants me to go Hwa Chong Institution, where he believe I could have better chances to make it big in the future. Well, I think so too...but I am cowered by the stress that I might have endure and the huge responsibility..after all, I do not like to be pressurized even tho I can perform better under pressure...I want to go Victoria because I liked its location and culture, its a funner place and I believe I can fit in better...so where??.......where??..........

here are some pics we took ytd ^^

freaking out...o's coming...HIDE!

See the difference btw convincing others that you can make it to your dream jc and trying to convince yourself that you can make it to your dream jc. There is a slight difference, its easier to convince others than convince yourself...try...
I'm undergoing utter confusion right now, I picture myself smiling while holding my results up high, and then picture myself staring into the space in my result slip, or throw my head far back and ram it against the wall...
anw...i m really really nervous and scared about getting the results tmr...I tried to believe in myself that I really did well this time and can easily get below 10 points. However, the more positive my contemplations get, the more negative i feel...what if it turns out exactly opposite?
I am not a wishy-washy person, not a worrier, I do not fret over things like its the end of the world. Look at me! What am i doing now??? Blogging abt how scared I am? It makes me feel small...powerless...like a little kid....

SAJC 07S07 CG OUTING!

OOHOO today, or should i say yesterday, was SUPER DUPER FUNN!!! We ate dinner at Fish & Co. and went crazy taking photos all over, that was really fun, and we were in very high spirits. It turned out that today is Thaipusam, I saw for the first time how people wore those "things" on their body, it looked really painful to me.
After dinner we went Ben & Jerry, and ordered the $88 bucks icecream, 20 scoops in total, so turned out tt each of us only need to pay like 4 bucks, so its quite worth it. Anw the icecream was yummy, we made a huge mess and all. Oh, and the napkin doesnt look like any other normal ones, i thought it was a brown paper bag at first sight.
well, my CG is really fun, with alot of wacky ppl like Arun and Bryan and all. I hope I dont get too attached that I couldn leave SA.
Waiting for the photos....^^

Sorry, Dad...

I got chided for being rude to my parents...now I'm feeling super guilty and regretful. It's not that I was trying to be mean or whatever, but I just got irritated when my parents start asking me about computer stuff. I mean, its difficult to explain in their terms for them to understand, and I get very fed up when I have to do this repeatedly. Not that I don't want to "teach" them about the computer, but I can't do it when they are asking me questions that are so irrelevant, so impossible, that I really hate to come up with answers to them.
If what I had said to my Dad just now was unrespectful, then I have been rude to him for all my life...I talk to my father in a tone that I use when I talk to my really close friends. It may sound rude and all, but it's actually a way of showing intimacy. juz that ppl usually don't understand...i am a queer person after all...

some 4 days after end of os...well...what can i say...it was fast
one min i was dreading it, and then its gone! i definetly hope that i can achieve 6 pts, but i giv myself leeway, 6-8 would be acceptable. i dont really expect to get n a1 or even an a for english n geog...dam geog........
anw...been going out for the last 4 days, super relaxed...attempted job hunts but so far not successful. haiz...wad is with those ppl, i rather them tell me in the face that i dont wanna employ u, then make me anticipate their call within the next hrs/days...
i spent too much money these days, my slippers broke or tore when i was walking arnd Plaza Sing, so i bought this pair of sneakers, and a pair of jeans at the heat of the moment. well, so far i'm happy with buying my own clothes rather than my mom buying for me...hehe.
today, i more or less gao ding my grad ball clothes, cost me 70 bucks....its gonna be v shocking...i cudn blive it myself, let alone u...
shoes and accessories...and shud i ask huiyi to do my hair too?? lol...worth a try...

woosh! one and one-third down! chem prac tmr! kinda relaxed, this o lvl feels like nothing, probably too used to exams already, wonder whether its good to not feel nervous. anw, found some really nice Bleach pics, shall upload here haha. found them at bbs.dmzj.com. aw i juz love all the guys from bleach!!!

probably a worm juz wriggled into my head and decided to settle there for the rest of my life, this bulge on my temple juz wont go down...and it hurts...
this reminds me of that little joke my cousin told me.
'What's more terrifying than seeing a worm in your apple?'
'Half a worm...'
LMAO....

anyway, i kind of realized something really philosophical today, i feel like a grown-up.
My neighbour held some kind of party or celebration today, it seems. Because they live at the end of the walkway, there were many people walking up and down outside my house. I was pissed, cause i couldn't quite focus on my work. Anyway, more distractions came along, and i totally gave up studying and started to sulk and curse my neighbours.

Who would not be pissed if people were playing mahjong and laughing like anything outside your window?

I tried shutting the door and window, I even stuffed tissue in my ear! Even that couldn't stop the noise.

There were some even more audacious people who decided they could lean against my window and start checking themselves out, with me at the desk trying too hard to be calm.

In the evening, I thought I could finally have some peace and quiet, more people came streaming in...I was screaming...inside..

These people just seem to really enjoy testing my patience, some even sat right under my nose and smoked their cigarettes happily, blabbering dialect that sounded like animal talk.

Alright, they pushed me too far, I was going to show them who's the boss, display my prowess...but, well i didn't quite dare...politeness, you see.
So i decided to turn on my audio to max volume, and had TVXQ's new single blarring out the window.

Aha, they jumped in shock. Revenge...is sweet. They started rolling their eyes at me, talking even more loudly (in dialect, while obviously they were badmouthing me). Well I didn't really care, I was just happy I could save my ears from those dialects, they make my heart itch.

After much staring, they finally gave way, I admit the volume was probably too loud, I couldn't stand it either, I had no choice..
And hurray, one by one, they cleared the way, and I had my clean view-from-the-window back. WHo's da MAN?

And then my philosophy came in, I realized that people are really a pain in the butt when u think they are, conversely, if you think they are nice, they are too...
I happen to see this old man, who stared at me when I tried to blast him away, I thought of smiliing at him, and when i did, he smiled back...
then it dawned on me...it takes alot to be magnanimous and not to get pissed by every little thing people do, but it sure feels better when you receive a smile rather than eyeballs that threaten to disappear into their sockets (too much rolling).

Graduation....

the LAST day of school. We've graduated from Anderson officially.
Altho the farewell assembly wasnt really sad or touching, in fact it was juz givin out certs for prelim results, but the sight of MR CHYE really make mi wanna come back to Anderson. All in all, Anderson is a good school, 4 yrs has gone by, and we've all grown up, memories n more memories....
its always this kind of scenario that i fear most, sad to part, but have to move on.
after today, 4/2'06 is no more, SHIMIN JOANNE CHARMAIN YUXIAN PUQIN APRIL ANNA NAT ANGELINE EUNICE HUIYI WEIMUN LINXIU....we are classmates no more...tears....may we remain frenz and keep in touch even after we pursue different paths. all the times that we went crazy together, laughed n cheered for our class, etc etc, will be fresh in my heart and shall never be forgotten....FRIENDS FOREVER!!!
well the only person tt i m glad to NOT see anymore is Abel, @#!$%%#$@, rejoice! let him "own" all the poly ppl if he ever managed to get in thr. like weihao said, "double the shock" when he play DOTA and get back his results. well, if it was anybody else, i'd sympathise with him, but if for ABEL! I'm happily laughing my head off! But, if he decides to pull up his socks from now, it might be very much too late, but better late than never, at least it wont be sooo bad...but hey, its not my problem.
anw, juz wanna take this time to thank all the ppl who made my secondary school life enjoyable and meaningful, esp 4/2 gers, haha we kinda bonded only in the second half of our last yr, short but sweet, i'll nv forget everyone!
lastly, hope every1 pass O with flying colors, and shall we party all night long right aft the last paper, ooo i cant wait...O lvl SUX, but WE ROCK!

My 18th Bday...

My bday's in 4 days...should i say its special coz i'd be 18?? Dont really feel any excitement towards my bdays tho, coz theres no practice to celebrate it in my family, not that i care...
but this yrs bday kinda special, coz it falls on the exact same day as the Mooncake festival! my bday has never been so special, shall i make it really memorable??? but seeing that my mom n dad are both working night shift on that day, i doubt anything much could happen...guess i have to spend the day alone, maybe i could go gaze at the moon and imagine my family gazing at it too.........
nah...too sentimental for me...but i would really hope that my bday this yr could be once in a lifetime...

O is in 30days!

Just felt like liven up my blog abit, changed the background, stung by that pic, wonder if its based on real life person...
found some pretty cute pics, shall upload it here...

..........................................

i haven been blogging...
just received an email from Alice, kinda glad to be still in touch with her. Seeing how she's still regarding me as her closest friend, i kinda feel guilty for detesting her behind her back. its not that Im those kind of scheming backstabbers, its not that i behave differently infront of her and behind her, at least not i intended to. when she's nice, i totally love her alot, but when she gets cross and detestful, i cant help but to feel irritated n annoyed, i m torn in trying to decide exactly how to feel towards her, she put me in a dilemma that lasted almost 6 yrs till now....but deep down, i know im grateful to have her as a friend, we have an affinity, and it has not ended...

this one is sooo cute!!! cant stop laffing omg...



this one abit...like going to de zoo liddat...micky so funny!!!

reading bleach haha, the manga story is so much more interesting than the "BOUND"s, the new character's name all so greekish, ~~~OLA....all ends with LA.
dun feel like sleeping, haiz...., dam hungry, all tt CY's fault. Ask me translate some freaking chinese love story coz he freeking cant read chinese. the passage so freakng long!!! curses.... i m amazed at my translating skills tho, not bad huh me.
i did 2 geog essays today, kudos.... i m Da MAN, woosh, 17 left harhar.
i tried to copy down some korean song lyrics juz now, ended up onli managed to copy one, used up 5 pages in my notebook for ONE song! keep copying the wrong verse coz i duno wad im copying, all the words look the same to me....
feel like eating kfc now....aaa so hungry!!! someone feed me........
shiqi is such a #$!^$, i was hoping she could get through the audition today n she told me she backed out last min, i feel like wringing her head, uuurgh, made me feel so anxious for her.
i told my mom the condtion of my jap class, n she laughed she choked on her food. coz i tried to imitate that JOEY-san in my class reading the passage. OMG, i really cant stand the way she read kno, its annoying to keep waiting for her to read the nxt word. The smart guy, the teacher n me were like practically teaching her how to read alr, and she still read it wrongly. let mi show u:
Joey: Kare wa....shi...shiio...hi..hi..hi
Smart guy: shiohikari
me: shiohikari
SenseiL shiohikari shiohikari
Joey: hi...hi....
$%@#$%!

naruto

im reading naruto now, feeling a sense of loss, coz naruto is getting lamer and lamer, for both the anime n the comic, wth...it was so interesting in the beginning, and now it bcom like this.....when is the naruto i luved coming back??? same goes for bleach, idun understand these ppl, if they havn finish with the show then put it off for the moment la, y do they have to force themselves to come up with sucky fillers to make their fans disappointed? I've totally given up chasing those new animes, stick to 2 at a time, i still have my OnePiece there collecting dust...i downloaded too much for mi to swallow, really have to take care of my com prevent from formatting it, dun wanna lose all my treasure.
i did one geog essay n one a maths paper today, feel v accomplished, i shall treat myself with icecream and tea. tmr got jap lessons, i really dun feel like going, my tcher sux, i'd rather go kinokuniya there n pore over the books there then sitting in tt shabby classrm, arnd uncool ppl and listen to his crap...ok, sometimes he's nice n benign etc, but u see the huge generation gap and the huge boring face he has, it cancels everything off. n my classmate, omg, all of them are dorks and nerds, jus dun like the way they read jap, they sound like my neighbors playing mahjong, v loud n clear, yes, but really v unappealing, onli mine is good, soothing n nice.
last lesson tmr, guess i shud put it off for the moment, get the O done first then take care of jlpt...lvl2 is quite hard la, got alot of sentence structure to study, i nid a dict la, my mom reluctant to buy for meee, liddat how i study??? sianz....

at a lost at how to feel....

My Grandfather just called.
My Great Grandmother passed away yesterday, approximately 2 and a half years after my grandmother, her daughter, died.
My GreatGrandma, whom I am fortunate to have met, even for that short period which I could hardly recall, lived to 102 years old. She was a happy old lady with a very positive view for life, partly (I think) due to having slowly lost much of her memory (she claims she didn't know i existed..). Fortunately, she passed away peacefully during her sleep, serene.
I pray for her safe journey in the other world.
Now that I have only 2 Grandparents left, Grandpa from my mother's side, and Grandma from my father's side. I didn't have a complete set of grandparents to begin with, my dad lost his father during the tomultuous period, when he was only 16.
Life and Death...
I'm beginning to think about living and dieing...
sometimes, i couldnt feel alive, i feel as if i'm dead but still moving like i'm not.
i m confused...not really sure about how to think or feel about my GreatGrandma's death...the sadness came in slowly, to think that I announced it loud and clear to my mom...now, I can't seem to think anymore..........

my bro

haven't been blogging for pretty long time i think.
juz felt like writing smth after reading my brother's blog. dam philosophical he became. however his philosophies centre around love and the nature of sex and stuff liddat, juxtaposition of sex between animals and humans.........tt kind of freaked me out. Guess this is wad guys his age think about. They tend to give it the scientific tinge instead of just the emotions and feelings we girls have. werd.
anyway, i could still remember the day he introduced his girl to me, i was dam smart to see through his teeny lie that she was only a friend. I was a little shaken and melancholic after he confessed that the girl was his special person. Not that I'm in lurve with my brother or wad, but the possesive inclination just couldn admit that my brother had a girl other than me. well, i happily forgot about it aft that, and went around telling my relatives abt it other than his mom, coz however big my mouth is, i kept my promise to him, not to let his mom know abt it. Secretive... If i was his mom, i would have known tt my son had gotten himself a girl, its female intuition, or my aunt was pure dumb, oops.
in his blog entry, he wrote that he doesnt ask much out of this relationship, doesnt necessarily have to have alot to talk abt when they are together, he's juz happy that they are together even if they feel akward. That really sounded like a love story, kind of cliche, but i guess its bcoz everybody felt the same way. it spanned 6 yrs since his confess and their first date. I'd always knew my bro was resilient ^^. anyway i m really proud of him, at least he's one guy i know that is serious about his girl and their relationship, that's worth celebrating for.
congrats to his girl too, my bro is that one in a million guy and she found him.
haaa~~~ so sweet ><
wish that my bro can tell me his love story from the very beginning ><

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

i honestly abhore my personality, sometimes i hate myself so much that i wish i wasnt myself....someone kill me....

i honestly do not know wad to blog about. i leave my computer on for nothing in particular, and do my work in front of it. amazingly, i do not get distracted. 3 consecutive days of rest was not relaxing at all, i m not allowed to relax at all. be it in school or not in school, i m as tensed up anywhere. every thought going on in my head is about study and school work. at home, i spend most of time doing homework, if not, worrying about it. yesterday, i suddenly came to realize that i had not sat infront of the tv to watch a tv show properly in days, or even months. (though i watched anime on com...)3 consecutive days of rushing my work, i'm still left with mounds of hw......they could bury me alive if i were to shake the foundation a little......maybe it would be better if they did........
dreading school..i wish i could be anywhere but school....school is even more horrifying that before. its horrifying the way it makes time go so fast, like its eating up ur time and that the time has passed without u noticing it...
i shud go to sleep...but its only 9.30, not used to going to bed this early....feels as if there's still incomplete work...

am sooo tired...more tired than yesterday after the run, weird isnt...
anyways, its been a long time since i'd finished reading a story book from head to toe. the book's called "Kite Runner", i cried once half way through the story.
It's a recount of a man's life from when he was 12 to somewhere arnd 40, the story abt how he had betrayed his best friend when he was young and found out that his best friend was his half illegitimate brother, but by the time he found out, he was nearing 40 and his brother was executed some time ago. he thus had a mission to seek out his nephew and bring him away from afghan and raise him as his own. along the way, he finally confronted his cowardice years back where he witnessed his brother raped but was too afraid to stand up for him. He fought the man who raped his brother, who also intended to rape his nephew. in the end, his nephew saved his by shooting a steel ball into the man's socket, just like how his father used to protect his brother in the past. then, it was a journey to bring his nephew into his family, along the journey he had carelessly and momentarily shattered the boy's new found hope by offering to temporarily place him in an orphanage while he settle the adoption matters. The boy attempted suicide that night, and he was terrified, he started to pray and do all sorts of religious thingies that he had not practiced in decades, suddenly realizing that there is a God, and God will forgive him and keep the boy alive.....
i cried once more at the end of the story, it was like a long journey finally coming to its end, and then u realize that u still want to continue walking...
...i dunno wad im talking abt, ...so wadever, i m going to sleep, nitez

yes i havn been blogging, i m sorry....
anyway just felt that i shoud blog for once in a long long time.
today was 2.4, blardy hell i failed again...nvm i shall excel in my retest....not that i din do my bes today, i really couldn run for some stupid reason, like my muscles are too tight...blah blah, they really were, i promise i will not walk for goodness sake during the rerun. anyway i always run better during reruns......
wth...time passed so fast that i din even realise its april already!!! eunice wrote down the countdown days to olvl and preprelim today and it was only 200+ days away!!!! aaaaa omgomg....and i m like still not done with my geog holiday homework which is due two days later and my blardy career essay due today but i m planning to do a draft for it tmr....slack right?
tmr is another long long day and i m now watching anime....slap myself....but i did my homework u see, so i deserve a bit of relaxation b4 i go to sleep....
sleep is like never enough these days, its like u lie on bed for awhile and u have to wake up alr....not even enough time to make out with whoever in ur dreams la....doopez....lucky i nv go to TJC, else my sleeping time would be cut until its so short that its uncuttable......
oh, no more wasting time, i shall go watch NANA ^^, yes NANA got anime ler! first episode yeeps1!!

just done watching HUNTER x HUNTER, not very happy with the ending, but rather happy that i finally finished the whole anime, from head to toe! 92 episodes leh, no mean feat ok, lol. what's really impossible is to try finishing ONE PIECE, coz its blardy damn long la, i m like at 169 only, and i have until 240 on my com, and it seems that its out till 260+ liao....dioonz...totally harshed my mellow....lol.
ONE PIECE is really fun to watch, am starting to go into this frenzy again alr...aaargh...
like i m juz done with one thing, and here comes another, tho i nv thot of watching anime tedious, but still i cant help but feel that there really is toooo much anime alr...its taking up too much of me, i cant concentrate on other things when theres anime around...
aaargh, i m going mental....

its raining outside, im looking at the cute little birds jumping arnd in the tree outside my window. just hope that they dont jump into my room, tt's all i ask for. remembering last time when we just moved in to my current residence, there was no curtain in the kitchen. and everytime we leave the window open for ventilation, the stoopid birds flew in and created a rackus out of my kitchen. why do i say they are stoopid??? coz they know how to come in, but they duno how to go out......silly billy....
anyway, i have to agree that rain makes ppl sad. "alot of ppl cry when it rains" quote Crystal from MIB2....ha... to think that i was so high just now singing in the shower.... (aw the birds look so cold...they keep fluttering their wings and trying to find shelter beneath the leaves.........)
i havn done a single piece of homework this whole aftnn....the time is sooo freaking wasted, but i just couldn bring myself to do my work...what is this??? uuurgh, curses...
oh man, today i unintentionally overheard someone's conversation over "what kind of gers guys like...." =.= dooopezzz... yes, this is the stage everyone goes through, the practise hunt for potential other halves...wadever it is...but, its really quite annoying to hear like almost everyone talking abt it..... what use is it to analyse what kind of gers guys like, so what if u found out?? it'll just put you down more as u realize u dun fit the descriptions at all.........=.=
oh well..............
shimin went home early today, she wasn feeling well, thought she acted strangely since morning. my darling : pls take care of urself...and get well soon...
the Mrs Secretary/Clerk (or duno what...) asked shimn whether she had flu-like symptoms or fever, just to play safe i guess...
anyway, today's council invest was boooring, i only liked Geraldine's dance, she rox!!! haha..ourclass sat at the last row, and slacked...it was the seat that *** sat last yr LoL, can i say i can still feel the warmth??? bwahahahaha...
saw Krystal on bus today, LoL it was sooo funny ^^. She msged me to say that we were on the same bus, and i realize that she was siting right infront of me...I LURVE KRYSTAL!!!! she'll always be the big SIS in my heart, i so envy that asshole alan to have such a nice sister, if only she was mine...boohooo...
right...shud i go do my work??
wait, wad are the stuff i need to do.......
oh yes... the freaking compo...i sincerely hate english lessons...for wadever reasons there be............

reading ppl's blogs can be really annoying, esp. ppl like PhOBeeBee....i didn noe she has a blog until one day i saw it. I went to read out of curiosity and found myself twitching at every word, it just gets on my nerve, really. i mean, some ppl are just so not realistic, why cant they be someone who's more acceptable and acknowledgeable?? why does she still have to obstinately go her own way when she knows that it's not reaping the fruit she wants. Super ACBC lor! I cant stand it! Never have i been annoyed this much, felt like punching her. Come one man, why do u have to be someone that ppl hates........
enuf.....i shall not let my mind linger over this subject anymore, disgusting out my brain cells...later i die of disgust how?

4/2'06 ROX!!!!

blog about today's March Games.
Our class emerged 3rd!!!! amazing rite, we actually beat so many classes! and last year we like kena kicked out in the 3rd game....
Wow, I lurve 4/2 man, my class rox seh! Didnt realize tt until today, =)
our team: Lester, Nat, Apr, Divek, Karnt(LoL), WeiHao, Adlin, PuuQin, Yuxian, Shimin (^^) and me, lol. Lester's so cool, and today's his bday ><, and Ian's too. Eck.
anyway, abt today.
met Shimin at the usual place at 0800. We were deciding wad time to meet ytd, she said 0755, and i was like "no not so early, so on time for wad, lets meet at 0805...lol" well so we met, i've given up hope to cajole, lure, seduce, plead, whatever her to play for the game. It's so wasted! She can play so well, and she dun want to play. She's soo obstinate and stubborn, haiya.... but bobian, she's shimin wad...
dono y our class's match was scheduled until so late, we waited and waited and waited somemore, still not our turn yet. Poor angeline, she came at 0745 and left at 0830, without watching our match, so poor thing...
so we went to watch bball matches with PuuQin and YuuXian, lol, first match was 5/1 against 4/8. it was fun to watch, we cheered at every goal, didn matter which side's goal also. Mr Lim played v well, and i rmb him saying he wasnt in his school team when he was in sec school. anyway, there was this LARD in the 5/1 team, ppl say that he's soooo PHAT he couldn even fit into the 2 poles of the basketball goalpost. damn, and u see the ripples when he run, yeeks, really look like running piece of Lard....
den later was bball match btw 4/3 and 4/6. and 4/3 won!!! woosh! LoL, i m loyal supporter. score was 12-10, i cudnt belive that they actually scored this many in such a short time. the match was good, coz the two teams got standard, lol. nice. realize most of the girls in the team no use one, haiz, there to fill up the names only, pathetic...
den hmm, wad did we do....
slacked arnd loh....... i tried to find balls so can play with shimin, ha, today she v ting hua, so obedient, ask her to play, she will play one, gd gd ger! Long long time nv play vball liao, reminisc...(wadever). (if not for tt f*king cheePANG, we wouldn land up liddat...) anyway, we were playing vball with Shimin, Apr, Nat Puu and surprisingly Mr Leow...din know he cud play...hehe. Den this terrible thing happened. I wanted to hit the ball, then walk walk, and trip over this little girl, and i fell flat on my face, not heavily la, but i hit my knee and it hurts. >< boohoo i must have fell damn ugly man, so no face liao lar....sit up and they all crowd arnd me and asked me whether im ok anot, ^^ feel so gd to hav ppl care abt u ><. Then i saw the Weihong and Jiahao there laughing at me!!! Woa, i can go flush myself down the toilet bowl liao, sooooo paiseh!!!!
Lol, stupid, then was the match against 5/1... oh b4 that, long long b4 that got play against 4/4, (seriously i dun like tt team ><). And we WON!!! WOOSH!!! I was so happy that i kissed Puuqin, lol, then she went eeeeeeeeeeing all over. Coz monday we lost to 4/4 4-3, sai, all my fault, keep falling off the chair... and tt fooking JAMES, that duno who's bf, keep knocking me off. And i think that he thinks his legs are beautiful (puke puke and puke somemore), coz he keep doing these, these stretches and duno what poses he did to show off his legs, diaoz....guys can be obsessed with body parts other than their chic?? lol, sick...
den aft tt match wit 5/1, we lost, but we played well, our team got fighting spirit! and Lester v GOOD ^^, the 5/1 team all so impressed haha. according to shimin, that shawn grabbed my hand when i was unstable on the chair.....i din know...now my hand feels weird...(faints) woa n he hit my waist during the game, duno whether he got grudges towards me or wad, hit until so hard, damn painful....haiz...den later they ask me to go down and change lester be captain...no choice, i go there be extra. ...i couldn do anything lor, kns, i was so angry wif myself coz i really made them lose the ball, later couldn get over it and i...last game against 4/3, i become spectator, sub PuuQin in... shout until voice hoarse liao...but realize tt 4/2 is really a nice class (except for some ppl....Lol)

okay, i knoe that time goes by fast, and it really does go by fast, im still traumatized that it has gone by so fast.
for crying out loud, its half way thru march alr.........
anyways, my results for this term was lousy, got a pretty 50 for my english, and bloody 60 for CHInese.
Hello? Me? Getting a fooking b4 for chinese?! I could go knock myself on the wall already.
Am i really more deprived or wad? y do ppl get 90+ while i could hover around 50-60?? Am i really that stupid??
oh shux......nvm........like everybd else's doing, i shall work xtra hard for the second term.

I do not think that my intepretations to life and understanding to certain issues are shallow and superphicial (however u spell it...), i do catch the gist of things and can add in my own opinions. y is that my mom keep saying that my comprehension skills are lousy? more often than not, i deem myself to be able to understand things that many can't. Izzat lousy??
in my opinion, my mom is the one who has weird understanding of things, sometimes i really couldn't care less about what she thinks, cuz it would always oppose to mine. Always......
even without realising that she's doing it, she says "no" by instinct.
why am i downgrading my own mother here......
nope, this is not downgrading, i luv her as much as i luv life (well...) its just that sometimes ppl need to complain.
i can't complain to her not because i think it's rude or disrespectful, but because that whatever i say will be immediately butted back at me.
i m 17! i know to a certain extent what is right and what is wrong, why is that every sensible thought I have, had to be shot back at me being unrealistic and impractical?? Come on!
Maybe sometimes what i say could be pretty improbable, like building castles in the air, unrealistic ramblings abt what i wanna do in the future. Hey, isn't there at least a little room for imagination and creativity??
I've just read an analysis on THE ENGLISH TEACHER. The themes about predictability vs unpredictability never hit me as much it did. It applies so well to my own life, that i kind of feel a connection with Narayan, that our lives have a similiar scent.
That our lives are stifling and mundane due to all the timetables and schedules and deadlines...where did the spontaneity and "live" life go??

I m posting the pictures i took at the Zoo yesterday, LoL, my first time at the Singaproe Zoo.
COOOl..........

siao ah pek

what a freaking day it was....
let me briefly recount the terrible event that took place 3 hrs ago.
...
it was a beautiful aftnn, with the terribly beautiful sun showering us with his beautiful rays of light.........
along the busy street of AMK, beside the teeny little bank,
this PESTY INSANE AH PEK came to us...
"$^%@$#^%$&...BO...^*^&*$"
i m thinking that he's probably asking for $$.
we picked up our speed and he sped up his.
we raced across Guardian, and we ran into the MINOSHE Brassiere shop.
AHA, come n get us old man, LoL.
He walked straight and down the road, disappearing around the corner of the bakery shop.
"Did he go away??"
"Let's cross over to the other side ^^."
We ran.
We saw.
He saw.
I peeked around the corner to see if he's still following, that's when my gaze met his, sending shivers down my spine. He's crazy.
We went crazy and took off running.
Thinking of heading back to PoPuLar, but no, we will still go to Mac.
So we took a UlU route along the carpark, and ran with all our might, charging into Mac.
Panting and sweating, we sat down at the small corner at the rear end of the mac.
we changed places 3 times, and ended up in the corner near the counter.
we thot we lost him.
we were wrong...
just as we savoured the last spoon of Msflurry icecream, i saw him sneeking around outside.
"Oh Shiit! He's here!"
Ducking my head under the table, futile attempts to hide myself. We put our heads on the table, and peeked from below our arms.
He peered around, sniffing our traces.....
he sneeked in, heading towards our first seat.

That's it! We are leaving this place!
I stepped out and almost got tripped over by a freaking umbrella poking out from the neighboring table.
"Damn it"
Meanwhile, Shimin was working on the entangled strap of my bag and the stool with futile efforts.

We shot out of the door and ran for our lives as fast as our trembling legs could carry us. We managed to escape. Once again. Cool.

Asagao

I found out what Morning Glory is in Japanese.
「朝顔」(asagao)
not fair, it sounds so nice ><
tt is one thing i like abt Jap, it sounds really soothing when u read it.

ok fine, i m rewriting my post, cuz the previous one was lost due to unknown causes.
im frustrated, cuz i hav to write this all over again.......
[breathe in....breathe out.......]
[SMACK!]
anyway, i ve got a new series to catch. I duno wad its name is, >< but it looks kind of promising with pretty nice graphics, and I think it's a Bishounen anime, and of cuz i would support all bishounens!!!
ok, tt was crap.
today is one whole week aft last saturday, the horrible outing i went to.
guess now i can say smth abt it.
ok, i shall continue tmr.....

a new anime coming ur way!

woosh! new anime to watch!
tho i've never heard of it b4, but its kinda promising ^^, excitement.
and later at 2230, its my fav kor. show! final episode, harhar, must watch.
and wad else....
the lost city of Bombay has appeared in the lift lobby, and I have to step over the relics everytime i go out or come back. Why do they have to do this? The floor looks pretty ok to me, doesnt look old enough to be replaced, y's the govt doing unnecessary things? Its not juz my block, the whole area is undergoin the same thing. Isnt it wastage?
my dad said it was inevitable coz the construction workers had to do some work, if the govt dont giv them smth to do, they'd have no income.
True.
Guess we'll juz have to put up with Bombay for some time then. Its not that bad either, kind of fun to walk on uneven ground.

Samurai Champloo!

i've just finished watching Samurai Champloo.
The ending was not remarkably touching or twisted.
Not much of an emotional stir even.
But I feel so fulfilled. Maybe because finally I finished this anime.
Samurai Champloo has a very unique style, there's one episode which was utterly stupid, it was abt the Mugen Jin and Fuu and somemore other unimportant people playing baseball with the americans. The americans inside were spastic, all they could say was "jesus", "oh my god" and "bastard"....it was like in the end the jap thrashed the americans and they did not dare to set foot on japan ever again. As if it was really true la. So gullible these ppl.
But of coz i was on Mugen's side, he was so hunky!
I liked Mugen and JIn, both of them were so desirable!!! lol....
anyway, what i liked abt them was that they are brave and they kill with style. Come on man, all who fight shud see how they fight la! Kewl beyond description man.
Envy Fuu so much, get to travel with those 2. I'd be so blessed if i cud really meet ppl like them. ><
Long Live! Mugen and Jin!

0h no......i m terribly regretting what i had just done.....how the hell did i coax myself to do it???
boohooo....cries........
its unblivable, i m actualy regretting this when i ve thot "dam it, juz do it man, cut! cut it. No more, finish, enuf!"
now i m really regretting it alr........
why the hell did i do tt for???
now it seems so empty alr.
noooooo.....it isnt happening.......
my mind is going bonkers!
life is so stressful!
i wanna die............

oh its really nice to kno tt i'm actually unattractive and undesirable.
great, brilliant.
that's all i wanted to hear.
Fine! I'll show u ppl what attractive and desirable is, bring it on man.
i feel so darn insulted.........
kns.
u ppl suck!

Feb 18th...the outing....the sadness...the tears.....

ever since last night, i cant help thinking abt him........
like the scenes kept replaying and I think I was very harsh and difficult.......
its not tat i did it on purpose, i jus didn like to left out, i get very frustrated. Especially is that kind of outing, all the more i'd think he hates me.
sighz.........guess i screwed up...........
frenz?

today is a super sucky day! i hate today!
was it me or jus that ..............hurrrrgh........forget it.....
jus remember tat today sucked like hell.

Os

The Day...
The day which the previous batch got back their "o" results.
There were alot of 6 pointers, it was so encouraging, i felt almost that I could be one of them too. If only i could get 6 points, i'd be able to go to TJC.
Anyway, I got back my Express Chi o results, I got an A1, i wasnt surprised, but b4 i got it back, i was dam worried and paranoid. I didn know that I would cry, it just came out when i heard my dad's voice. I sobbed into the phone, and gave my Dad a scare. He thought something terrible happened to me........ my dad....
it's always liddat, the paranoia b4 getting ur results.
you cant help but let your thoughts stray and get the better of you.
it depends on how you take the stress.
seeing the seniors get their results, i thought abt next yr, would i be able to walk out of the hall smiling? mayb not, would I be able to walk out with joy or sorrow? with pride or regret? it all depends, depend on how hard I work myself this yr.
2006, the very impt yr, the yr I take my Os.
but as Mrs Tan said, even tho O lvl is very important, it is only a passing stage in our life. whether we do well or not, we'd still have to get on with our lives. true?

I'd wish for all andersonians to fare for their Os, and pass this mere stage of our lives with no regret, and carry on, living our lives to the fullest, and make the best out of each and everyone of us. For everybody is a gem, u will polish and carve in order to shine. And it's impossible to not shine if you have polished and carved hard enuf.

I really hate myself...
Why can't i juz act normal? why do i have to be so uncomfortable arnd people?
Is it me? or what?

went for the MILK fund CIP thing this morning. Quite fun at the beginning. Feels great when u hear the coin doink into ur can. I observe that the elderlies are generally more generous. They doink quite alot of money. The kids also. when it comes to teenagers or young ppl, they are $%@$^%. Some just stare at me, some ignore me, some run away when I approach them. Like the hell i want to see their face so badly. Someone donated sweets to me, that's fresh.
Had to walk around smiling so brightly that i wonder what the hell happened...
anyway, it was quite ok la, at the beginning.
later, we were like dam tired. I m lazy to even talk. i became totally anti social and i duno, dun even wanna talk to shimin, who also didn bother to talk to me, coz she got her glamourous Charmaine.
sigh, why didnt daryl come to ToPaYo today??? would have walked up to him n ask for donations and hp no.... LoL
oh ya, i asked for donations from a tcher in anderson whom i duno, oops, awkwardness...
the stupid 88 and 159 take so long to drive from tpy to my home, i sit until i want to puke.
better avoid going to tpy...
when i got home, i ate noodles, it was heavenly coz i havn eaten since morning. then i went to sleep, i think i drooled alot, coz my pillow smells weird, eek.
I've got plenty of work to do tmr, hw and tests to study for, and i have lessons in the aftnn.
buzy day, all by myself, tt explains why i m anti social. i m like always alone.......
there were this 2 guys from china, they make their own mvs and upload onto e net, they are like so famous now, coz their mvs are dam funny.
when i watched their mvs, i laughed non stop, coz its really hilarious.
then i felt miserable, how i wish i cud be liddat, doing crazy things with my pal.
problem is where the hell is my pal?!
applying perfectly to this ancient saying:
(the one puuqin said for chinese lesson...)
相识满天下，知己有几人。
something like that, its a shame i forgot the orginal vs. well the meaing is there...
its really hard to be a happy teen.
like always thinking abt whether u are good enough, doubting yourself, unsure abt yourself....
hope i can step out of this, soon...

man, it sucks, i wanted to buy the inbase shoes today, but they were not there anymore! sobx....
anyway, engl. lesson today was not fun, tt Ms Heng was obviously biased la,every other group presented and when it comes to mine, she just let it be when we said we've got nothing much to add, when she insisted other groups to present when they were like also had nothing to add.
I dono what to say abt her, i like her lessons, its interesting but somehow i just feel quite uncomfortable. Like i always find her way of looking at me not very appealing. anyway, we've got another troublesome thing to do, prepare for a 3 min speech on reflections upon reading this article on Bullying. Well, this is a topic that I might have alot to say. But to say it infront of her, i probably need a dose of courage. I cant talk to her at all, i feel oppressed when she talks to me, like i find it difficult to even to look her in the eye. Guess I'll just have to brace it through, its due nxt fridae, i have one week's time to prepare, i m not sure whether its enough.
Today is obviously wasted, couldn buy the shoes i wanted, wasted 2 hrs walking arnd j8 for something not quite my business. i just don feel right, i mean its like its not even our business and u drag us along, and like leave us when u don need us anymore. Please la, i deem myself with alot of pride, i don like being treated like that.
cmon la, crap shit.....
i wanna watch advent children tmr and kns got the stupid MILK thingy.
we are doing it at tpy, again. no big deal for me. I shall go slag and pull thru the thing and return home in one piece to watch my beloved CLOUD!!!
Dad was sposed to swim with me today, but what a @$%@&%, he forgot to bring his swimming trunks. MAN, and he told Mom that it was because I didnt keep it for him! Aaaargh, isnt he atrocious??? so it ended up me swimming alone, and my Dad sleeping on the chair, darn he was so comfortable la.
let's see... i ve got tons of work to do, and i ve got my jap lessons on sun again. kind of don feel lke going....I m planning to cramp all my work to do on sunday tho. shud have enough time la....haha, im lying to myself obviously......dam...
ooo, its getting itchy, i wanna watch FF7 now!

i havnt been blogging for sometime, did i?
right now, i m breaking my head over that stupid lit essay about goodness of children...
there's no goodness in children! they are lil devils running all over the place!i find them cute when they cry...sense of superiority maybe. its ecstatic to see them cry, LoL, that was my secret hobby a long long time ago.
so, what shall i write for my essay?
i find it more frequent that I can't write an essay or a compo smoothly or fluently, it just gets stuck somewhere somehow. either it's because I m slowly forgetting my vocab or I m aging backwards that I donno how to construct a proper sentence. As Ms heng said, my writings are atrocious. never mind that, I think i'm running short on time to do my homework. there's pretty much i need to do. sighs....i m glad there's alot of work, but i juz don have the time and energy to do it....
god bless me ><

oh my god, i'm practically breaking my head over the two essays. its difficult to think. my story is in a mess. I can't even sort out how to begin it. I was trying to start writing out the plot, before I actually go to organise and present it the way i want to. However, even writing out the plot seems almost too impossible for me. i spent one day to come up with a story based on a dream i had, which i could only remember almost nothing about. and spent another day to think of a way to present it, and finally i did come up with something creative as i sat dreaming at the basketball court. I was glad that i went there, because it's pretty relaxing to sit and daydream. I know i shouldn think it a chore which would only make my life more difficult. but i cant help but think it a horrible horrible chore, as writing was never my forte (totally untrue of wad ms Heng said). I have to come up with a 1500 words long essay. I doubt i can even come up with 1500 words long rubbish, let alone a proper essay that would promise me an A in my CA2. Why do i have to go to b1??
the other essay, which I'm supposed to write about my father, was another tedious task for me to do. look at him, what 1000 words can i possibly make up to say about him? well, i could always start by saying that my dad is very very noble and kind...and blah blah blah....but i don want to write untrue stuff about my dad. not because i m worried that if my essay's chosen somehow and my dad gets invited and discovers that what i had written about is all bullshit crap. why would i ever think of that, i wouldn even want anyone to read my essay, for privacy and for dignity.
what can i do???
right now, i'm focusing on my commonwealth essay. i hope i can really really come up with something right. it was a fabulous dream i had, its a pity i forgot about it.
oh man...................i'd rather die........

Worshipping.......

I SAW DARYL!!!! AFTER SOOOO MANY DAYS!!!!!!
KEWL!!!!!!!!!!!!
LoL....
HE'S WEARING ALL RED JERSEY, OOO HOT, HAHAHA, MUZ B AFTER SOME TOURNAMENT BA.
KEWL KEWL!
WEEEEEEEE.................

i'M really starting to abhore ppl who do not respect others.
Either not respecting teachers, or just fellow ppl.
who do they think they are anyway? Being rude and all to ppl, and yet expect ppl to respect them? I think not.
everybody is so darn full of themselves that they could afford to trample on other's dignity. so what if you don like that particular teacher? U "walao" at whatever she says that you do not agree? u sleep during the class right below her nose?
think how does tt feel if it were you?
I bet you are too thick to even think of that.
probably you think its cool that u do not see the big deal of a teacher, that you are brave enuf to go up against her by doing little fidgets just to irritate her.
what good does that do?
and u get angry coz other ppl responds to that teacher u don like?!
please...save me the atrocity...
its just unbelievable that you are like that, I thought you were the sort who knows right from wrong, who respect others....
yet...
just take it that i've been blinded and...wadever...

freaking stupid singaporeans

i hate to say this, but those singaporeans are really getting on my nerve.
i don care if this is a sweeping statement, i m damn unhappy abt this.
Are there anyone more stupid than those ppl? I cant belive this la/
they can barbeque outside the lift, on the 5th floor...
siao la these ppl
dam inconsiderate, i bet those bags of rubbish tt were stuck in the chute were theirs, so darn stupid, they have to taught how to dispose rubbish?
they can freaking throw themselves in!
curse them.
its so dam obvious the father is having affairs, coz he married a dam uncouth and ugly woman who has never properly learnt her manners.
if she doesnt show respect to us, i can jolly well forget abt mine.
she's getting hell from me, mark my words, suckers.

A.I.R

看完了A.I.R 这部动画了。 好感动的。最后还哭了呢。
我好像从中学会了非常珍贵的东西。到底是什么呢？
我说不上来。
不过好像有种很满足的感觉。让人十分温暖那 (笑)
A.I.R 其实是一部很美的动画，描述着一个很凄美的故事。
刚开始还有点看不懂得说，有点摸不着头绪，跟一般的动画不一样。
说它曲折离奇吧，又好像不怎么复杂，蛮简单的故事背景来的。
但要说它简单吗，却又觉得故事的含义很深，令人回味。
所以我才说它很美 (^_^)

到现在，对A.I.R的映像还不是很清晰，朦胧的感觉挥之不去。
似懂非懂的样子。
回味呀，回味。。(v_v)

总觉得我好像变成熟了呢，长大了呢。
A.I.R 值得一看啊，感叹人与人之间的爱。
强力推荐哦！